#70 – What is Human Design with Ydaiber Orozco

[00:00] Paulette: Buen día, mi gente, and welcome to La Vida Más Chévere de Childfree Latinas, the only Spanglish podcast for childfree Latinas y Latines, helping us liberate ourselves from the toxic cultural brainwashing we all grew up with so that we can design our best lives instead. I’m your host and resident Childfree Latina, Paulette Erato.

[00:24] Today we’re talking about human design. Yeah, this is going to be a little bit of a woo episode. And you might be asking, why are we diving into this if the point of the show is to break away from toxic cultural norms? What’s next, Paulette? Witchcraft? And then I’d say to you, well, yeah, we covered witchcraft last time in a way on the last episode.

[00:45] So check it out. You probably also heard the episode on burnout with Karenna Soto and she mentioned human design, which got me curious and curiosity is a great way to learn new things. Curiosity is also the antidote to boredom. And as Walt Whitman said, to judgment. And that, judgment, is a massive toxic cultural norm.

[01:09] So let’s get curious. What this episode is also an illustration of is how sometimes the people we need are already in our community. You just don’t know it yet. My guest today, Ydaiber Orozco, and I met at a podcast conference when I introduced myself as having a childfree Latina podcast to a big room of people I didn’t know.

[01:30] She mentioned she was also childfree, and then we chatted about podcasting a little bit. But I had no idea she was involved in human design. Fast forward a few months and I put out a message in a podcaster’s group that I was looking for a Latina who could talk human design. And who answered the call?

[01:45] My new childfree Latina friend, Ydaiber. The moral of the story is that sometimes the universe puts people in our lives for a reason, so never underestimate who in your circle could become your go to person on a new subject. But let’s back up, because during the episode, I might sound a little skeptical, and that’s because I am.

[02:07] That’s not a reflection on Ydaiber who I adore. In fact, you can hear me over on her podcast later this month talking about my skepticism. But this is both new to me and sounds really out there for someone who’s more of a pragmatist. But I’m also not arrogant enough to dismiss things I don’t understand.

[02:26] Human design is a tool, just like a hammer. I would be silly not to take advantage of a tool if it proves useful, right? If I need to hammer some nails, I’m going to pull out my hammer. So think of this as an energy efficiency tool. And Ydaiber will describe how that works. What I’ve learned is that I’m a projector like Obama, which everyone I’ve talked to mentions as the projector archetype, which is interesting.

[02:52] And also, what does this mean? We’re about to find out. Here’s some background info on Ydaiber, whose links are all in the show notes. Ydaiber is a certified emotion code practitioner, human design reader, Dharma coach, working actor, and voiceover talent. In her one on one coaching or in her group program, The Fearless Creator, she empowers multi passionate creatives and soul searchers to conquer self doubt, align with their purpose, and embrace their authentic selves free from comparison and hesitation.

[03:24] She’s also the creator and host of Rekindle Your Light podcast. Before we jump in, Ydaiber and I also talked about a certain billionaire and terrible person trying to destroy democracy. And I’m just now realizing that describes a lot of people. Well, you can take a guess who that is and keep listening for when I accidentally give the name away later.

[03:42] Then, check out my Substack, which is where that episode will drop.

[03:46] Ydaiber, como estas?

[03:48] Ydaiber: Ay, muy bien, muy bien. It’s so good to see you because, I mean, we met several months ago, but it was something about you that it, it just attracted me to like, oh, let’s chat, I want to, I want to get to know you.

[04:00] And it seemed like we actually ended up having a lot of things in common. So I love how the synchronicities work to make this happen today.

[04:08] Paulette: Same, same, same. Thank you for making yourself available for this and especially for this discussion. on human design. So listeners of the show will know that a few episodes back we talked about burnout and human design played into that.

[04:22] And I am completely new to this. I thought it was just astrology.

[04:27] So can you explain for us what is human design

[04:32] Ydaiber: yeah.

[04:32] Paulette: And I understand there’s different types and how does all that work? Just give us the high level, 101.

[04:40] Ydaiber: Absolutely. So human design is a tool, just like astrology, right, that combines science, it actually has some science in it, with spirituality, which is like my favorite subject to talk about, right? So it was something that was channeled by a man. He went by the name Ra Uru Hu. He was in Ibiza and he had like this mystical experience that lasted like eight days where he was channeling all this information and it combined astrology, the Chinese I Ching, the chakra system, Kabbalah, the neutrinos from universe.

[05:17] And basically what it says is like, when you were born, all of these trillions of neutrinos were passing through your body and give you a very specific imprint of who you are. So you can look at human design as a roadmap, or I like to call it a blueprint. A lot of people call it that because when you look at it, it’s almost like if you were looking at the chart of your life.

[05:40] It’s like, it’s really, it’s really cool. These filled with nuances. It’s not a one size fit all. So I think that when you say that there’s different types of human designs, it’s not a different type of human design, like the concept is the same for everyone, but within your chart, that’s where all the specific things about you come to light and you’re like, Oh, there’s different type of energies. There’s different type of authorities. There’s different types of strategies, profiles.

[06:09] So there’s all of these things. I mean, when I looked at my map for the first time, I was like, I have no idea what to do with it, with this information. And that’s why you get someone to read it for you, right? I mean, you can go through the rabbit hole of doing all your investigation and sure, that can be very helpful. But having somebody that kind of interpret not only the separate aspects, but also how it flows all together, it was so, so crucial for me.

[06:35] It actually did change a lot of things in my life when I understood that’s why I do things the way I do them.

[06:42] Paulette: So, uh, there’s four or five categorizations, right? What are they?

[06:47] Ydaiber: Yeah. So that’s what we will call the energy types.

[06:50] Paulette: Okay.

[06:50] Ydaiber: So the energy types is basically exactly what it sounds like, is the way that you optimize your energy.

[06:57] So we’re going to divide it into five categories and we’re going to start with the main category called generators. Because the generators, and I am a generator, we encompass 70 percent of the population. And it’s exactly what it sounds like. We generate the energy, we are the motor of the world. We are the ones who are like, 24/7 going on.

[07:20] And we run the risk of burnout very easily because we’re constantly, especially if we are creating from a place of excitement and we’re doing something that really light us up, we can keep going for hours. Like sometimes I find myself doing stuff at 10:00 PM and my husband is like, when are you gonna go to bed?

[07:39] And I’m like, I’m just so excited about this because that’s how I’m, I am meant to be functioning that way. So we have to be very intentional, about rest, and about noticing when something is no longer lighting us up. So that will be the generators. Within the category of the generators, there’s like the pure generators, and then there’s the manifesting generators.

[08:01] So manifesting generators come from a combination of the generators, and there’s a category called manifestors. So they get a little bit of both, basically, and the way that they function also is having that consistent energy, and that’s why they’re still put in the category of generators. And then the manifestors are those people who you see that they seem so magnetic automatically.

[08:29] These people that you feel attracted to for no reason other than, ooh. I want, I want to do what they’re doing. And you kind of follow them. They’re those natural leaders who just have this magnetism about them. Then you have the projectors, which are like the visionaries. Those are the Obamas of this world, where they can just have this bird eye view of everything that is happening and give you ways to do things more specific and more efficient.

[08:59] They’re very good at systems. They’re very good at looking at problems from the outside and come in and be like, Oh, no, let’s do this better. There’s, there’s ways to do this better. Because if you think about it, we, the, the little ants, the, the hard workers, right? We’re doing, doing, doing, doing, and the projectors come in and they’re like, Uh, let me zoom in and help you to figure this out more efficiently.

[09:22] And then they’re the reflectors. When you look at any chart, you’re going to notice that there’s some figures in there. There’s like triangles and squares and some of them have color and some of them don’t have color. It doesn’t matter what color they are. But if they are blank, that’s what we call open centers.

[09:41] So this is when your chakra system kind of comes into place, right? So when you see a chart that is completely blanked, that means that’s a reflector. That means that they don’t have any sustainable energy in any of the centers. And they’re basically reflecting the energy from everyone else around them.

[10:06] So being a reflector, I think it’s only like a 1 percent of the population. So very unique kind of people. It’s literally like 1 percent of the population. And at first reflectors can feel very overwhelmed about things because they are pretty much reflecting whatever is put in front of them. So they have a special extra work to do around how to manage their energy, how to manage when they come into a room, when they come into a party and it’s like all of these stimulus happening around them.

[10:38] So those are the people who have to like really work on their energy and be aware of like, Oh, these are no emotions. I am not angry. He’s angry. I don’t have to be angry. You know what I’m saying? So it’s a very, very special group of people. I mean, everybody is of course, but we have our own special sauce into what we bring into the world.

[10:58] And when you understand it better and you maximize that, you do start living a more aligned life. And that’s what I found for myself. So, one of the things that I, that I learned about myself is that my top chart, so my crown, my third eye, my throat are all connected and defined. And that makes me so good at communicating.

[11:22] It makes me so good at specifically communicating what I’m talking about today. Things that seem to be complicated. Things that seem like, ooh, too out there. I’m actually really good at breaking down concepts. And I didn’t know that, right? I was always deemed too analytical. Like you overthink things and we put it as a, as a negative connotation.

[11:44] Like you shouldn’t think too much, you need to feel things. And I’m like, yeah, I am meant to feel things too. My sacral is, is also defined and everybody is supposed to feel things and connect with their heart more, right? But when I accepted that I am someone who is critical, who has a very strong point of view, who has a lot of ideas, and that I am meant to be communicating them because it is very clear in my design that I’m like, Oh, that makes so much sense.

[12:11] That makes so much sense.

[12:13] Paulette: I have so many questions, so many questions, but let’s start at the beginning. Where is the best place to get a chart? And then. Secondary to that, how do you read the chart? Because you said something very interesting that you can do the research and all that. And as you were talking, I, I was thinking about how when I get x rays done, somebody is responsible for reading that and then telling my doctor who, who’s the person I’m going to for all this wisdom and, and tell me what’s wrong with me, what they say. So while the doctor is a very well educated individual, they still rely on someone to interpret results for them. So can you give us how to do that?

[12:54] Ydaiber: Yeah. So I would say if you’re super curious, because I think anybody who hears human design for the first time are going to be like, uh, I need to know who am I?

[13:03] Like, I think that was my reaction. And then you can literally Google human design free chart. And there’s several, uh, portals where you can get it for free. It’s not a scam. You can just get it for free. I would recommend, I like, I think it’s pronounced Jovian, J O V I A N. That’s where I have getting my, my charts from.

[13:23] I like them. You get a PDF that you can then share with somebody else, right? Uh, I love sometimes having my husband’s and my PDF next to each other and kind of noticing sometimes how things are interconnected. And I’m like, Oh, that makes a little sense. So that’s where you can get your chart. And then my suggestion would be to find someone who can interpret it.

[13:44] So there’s people like I am personally certified to read the basics of your chart. I don’t go super super deep, because like I said, there’s so many intricacies. But I think it can also be super overwhelming for a person on the first date to just talk about all these things. If you just wanna learn about energy type,

[14:05] Paulette: uh huh.

[14:06] Ydaiber: Your strategy and your authority. In any basic reading, those three things should be offered. And then it’s going to be dependent on the reader if they give you a little bit more.

[14:18] So like I do a little bit more, like I love to go over the centers because for me, understanding if your root is defined or not defined, how that can help you with everything else, I think it’s very important. So I love going over the centers and I also go over like some if there’s anything that, that highlights your chart, like there’s.

[14:42] a certain channel, channel is when like gates connect, and again I’m talking about all this intricate language that maybe makes no sense for you, but it’s kind of like the lines that you see that start connecting the centers and they’re colored, then I will highlight those channels as well. But at least, at the very, very least, you want your energy type, authority, strategy, and maybe even the profile, because the profile is like the little number that you will see like at the top of your chart, that is kind of like the character that you came to play in this life. If there was going to be like an archetype, that’s, that’s a good generic information to have as well.

[15:21] But the first three ones are like the things you need to know.

[15:25] Paulette: And it’s based on your birth date and time, right?

[15:29] Ydaiber: And location.

[15:30] Paulette: And location. Right. So just like an astrological chart.

[15:33] Ydaiber: Mm hmm.

[15:34] Paulette: Um, okay. So I’m looking mine up right now. I know I’m a projector, but I don’t know those other things.

[15:39] Ydaiber: Okay.

[15:40] Paulette: Oh, here it is. So strategy. Wait for the invitation. Not self themed bitterness. Inner authority, emotional solar plexus, profile’s a two, four.

[15:50] Ydaiber: Okay. Okay. Yeah. So there’s a lot, there’s a lot there, right? So the first thing that you want to know about is repeat for me, your authority. It’s your strategy.

[16:02] Paulette: Oh, my strategy is wait for the invitation.

[16:04] Ydaiber: Right. So when it comes to the strategy, that’s going to be the way that you make decisions in life, right? And it’s going to guide you on how you’re supposed to be also interacting with the rest of the world. So remember how I say that projectors are these people who have this vision thing.

[16:21] Paulette: Yeah. I’m like Obama, which is like the coolest thing.

[16:24] Ydaiber: Exactly. And you’re there to kind of like guide people to get better results and do things more efficiently. And you’re probably one of those people who find yourself constantly biting your tongue because you can see it, you can see how to make things better, but you have to wait for the invitation.

[16:44] That’s what it means. So basically, if you were to see the way that I’m running my podcast, you will be like, Ydaiber, you could be doing this so much easier and so much better if you did this, this, this, and that. But if you tell me that without me asking, most likely I’m going to get offended or defensive.

[17:03] Paulette: This explains so much.

[17:06] Ydaiber: And that’s why I’m saying as long as you know your energy type, your strategy and your authority, you will be doing life better. That’s why I’m like, those are the main three things you need to master, because it’s so hard to master them. So when I mean waiting for an invitation, it doesn’t mean that you’re going to be getting a card in the mail saying, I invite you to please come and da da da.

[17:30] No, it’s just like noticing when an opening happens, right? If instead of you offering me advice without being invited, I would say, I’ve been struggling with getting new followers. My current followers are really good and very loyal at listening at my podcast, but I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.

[17:51] And you would be like, Okay, do you want me to share my experience and do you want me to tell you about how I was able to grow my podcast? And I’ll be like, yes. So that’s what you want. And the person can say, because I’ve done this, right? People have come to me to say, knowing that they’re going to sell something to me, well, I know how you can do this better.

[18:10] And I’m like, I’m sure. But I want to figure it out myself, then that’s it. Then that’s your indication that back off, you’re, this is not your person to educate or to help out, right? But this is like a constant interaction. This is a ping pong game that you’re playing all day long. So I think that the moment that you start putting yourself a little more out there and realize that I interacting with people and waiting for this invitation constantly. I’m not talking about invitation to the party. I’m talking about invitations to, to chime in, invitations to participate. And I think that’s something that is very important about projectors is understanding that this does not mean that you have to live a passive life.

[18:56] Cause I think that’s where the misunderstanding and the misinterpretation comes in. It’s not about you sitting back and relaxing and waiting. You still are gonna engage in the things that make you happy. That bring you joy. And as you do them, then people will come and ask you, how do you do that? Oh, how did you start a podcast?

[19:17] That’s how, that’s how it works. It does not mean you’re not going to do anything until somebody comes to you and tell you to do it. It’s just like, no, you’re going to be creating and doing the things that excite you. And that will create the invitations that are meant to come for you. So that’s kind of like in a nutshell, what means a projector that has a strategy of waiting for the invitation, which is all the projectors in, in life.

[19:43] And then you have an authority of, you say it was an emotional authority.

[19:47] Paulette: Solar plexus.

[19:50] Ydaiber: Solar plexus. So you’re going to be super, super, super connected with your emotion. And it’s like, you have to learn how to ride that wave of your emotions, right?

[20:00] And know to share things from a place of neutrality and not respond when you are upset on when you’re, which is, I think it’s a normal, I guess it’s a, it’s a, it’s a good indicator for everyone. Right? Like in general, it’s like, we need to learn how to navigate our emotions better in general, and the awareness of the emotions will help you to utilize your energy and your strategy better.

[20:30] Because you’re going to feel things very, very deeply. So even though you’re feeling things very deeply, you still have to wait for the invitation. So always resort back to your strategy. And to your energy type. Also something to notice about your energy type is that you do not have sustainable energy.

[20:48] You’re not meant to be going on and on and on. That’s not, you’re not meant to function like that. You’re meant to be functioning in a way that you go show up and take breaks and you take breaks as your body tells you. Like you really have to be very aware of your body. I will have to look at the rest of your chart to see like what is, how you are supposed to recharge and how you’re supposed to make space for the things that, that will allow that restore process to happen.

[21:15] But in general, you gotta learn how to listen to your body, especially when the emotions are high. That’s like a good indication for you to retreat. Retreat, take breaks. This world was not defined for projectors, right? Projectors are like the newest energy type. It was not, out of the five ones it was not a type that was the original, projectors were not the OG.

[21:41] The projectors came later in life because at first when we were in the cave, right? We were all fighting for survival. So we didn’t need visionaries. We just needed to survive. So when that type was added to the human design, it’s the newer type and it has that energy of like innovation. But with that innovation also comes burnout, so you have to be super cautious about managing your energy because you function in a generator world.

[22:10] You’re in a world that is telling you you need to be on 24/7. And your body, your design is telling you, no, that does not feel good. So, those are the main things that you need to take, that you need to take conscious of. And then you told me that you are two, four, is that what you say?

[22:30] Paulette: Two, four.

[22:31] Ydaiber: Two, four. On your conscious side, that makes you a hermit, which is the number two.

[22:36] And I know sometimes the names sound a little like, oh, that doesn’t sound very good. And then the number four is the opportunist. So there is kind of like a tension between the two and the four because sometimes you don’t know if you want to be alone. Or you want to be surrounded by people. So on your, on your conscious side, right?

[22:55] It’s like you are aware of needing that time to retreat, of feeling totally comfortable on your own skin and by yourself. You don’t need these people. But at the same time, on your other side, you’re designed, you’re like, I love networking. I love to connect people. I love community. It’s like something that is really, really, really important to you.

[23:18] So it’s just a matter of knowing how to balance the both of them and be aware that it is an intricate part of your design. And then when we look at your channels and gates, then we can look specifically at what are the gifts and what are the things that you are meant to be doing in life, purpose, and things like that, that uniquely special to you. So, these are kind of like the generic rules for anybody who is a projector with an emotional authority, who has a wait for invitation strategy, and a 2 4 profile.

[23:49] It’s still, it’s a big picture. Like, I would still have to look at all the other intricacies to tell you even more about yourself, but that gives you a good, a good starting point.

[23:59] Paulette: So much of that resonated, and I didn’t know, to be, to be very clear to the audience, I did not know and some of it was not, I had to like, think about whether or not that really applied.

[24:10] So I’m sure that there’s in the nuance, like you were talking about, there’s, there’s a bit more of the story there.

[24:16] But what you said about being a hermit, I was like, absolutely not. My, my very first reaction internally was like, no, that is not true. And then I thought about it and was like, well, it kind of is post lockdown.

[24:31] I became a little bit more agoraphobic. Maybe germaphobic is the proper term because I was always the type that had to wash my hands coming home and now that’s just kind of gone into overdrive. But I have noticed of late being married to an introvert whose chart I can’t get, by the way, because he doesn’t know what time he was born at.

[24:50] But, being married to an introvert, I felt like he has, um, rubbed off on me in the lockdown, post lockdown, because I was always the one that wanted to go out and see our friends and, and, and host and, and do all these things, and he’s like, I’m good. And so, there was always a little bit of that. But the older I get, and so maybe this is more a function of age that was accelerated because of being locked down for so long, is that I now protect that energy a lot more, and I don’t necessarily want to be out all the time.

[25:26] I’ve come to a point where things on my calendar used to excite me, and now it’s almost like things are a chore, and I hate that. I really don’t like feeling that way. But maybe if I look at it through this lens instead, it explains a little bit more and I can stop feeling bad about it.

[25:44] Ydaiber: Right.

[25:44] Paulette: Because I also don’t think I’m alone in that. I think a lot of us, you know, so many people joke about how they just want their plans canceled by someone else. And I’m here to tell you, you can cancel your plans. It’s okay. So back to what you were first talking about before we started talking about my chart, and thank you for all of that information.

[26:03] It sounds like reflectors, which you said are the smallest part of the population, also can be thought of as empaths. And yet empathy I feel like is very lacking. In our society overall, but everyone claims they are an empath, so.

[26:22] Ydaiber: Well, also, empathy, it’s located, if you were to look at the chart itself, and not as a whole chart, but just a portion of the chart, if we were back to that solar plexus energy.

[26:34] Paulette: Mm hmm.

[26:35] Ydaiber: When people have that center open, a lot of empaths find that that relates a lot to them. Because what happens is when a center is open, again, you’re going to be activated by the people around you. So sometimes you’re going to feel the emotions even deeper than the person that has them. And that happens to me.

[26:54] So my, my solar plexus is open. My husband’s is defined. So what happens is that I noticed that when he’s in a bad mood, I get in a bad mood immediately and it’s not my energy. It’s not me. I’m like, I’m, I was fine until he was moody. And then I’m like, I have to be very aware of it. I’m like, Ooh, no, no, this is not my energy.

[27:11] This is not. So that’s what I guess you would call true empaths, right? I think everybody claims it because now we’re talking about being compassionate. And I’m, I guess that if you, if you don’t have compassion, there’s, there’s some serious human design analysis to do there. But you know, I think also it’s one of those terms that now is being thrown at so much, like, yeah, and authenticity and all these words that now it’s just like, okay, what do they really mean?

[27:38] Right. So, but if we were to look at it from the human design lens, then we will be looking at your solar plexus and it does not mean that because you have it defined, you don’t have empathy. It does not mean that. It just means that by design, physiologically, the real empaths are the ones with the center open because we’re literally feeling the thing.

[27:58] But again, that does not mean that the other people are not empaths.

[28:01] Paulette: And I think you’re right. It is one of those terms that’s thrown about. It’s very trendy to be an empath in certain circles. So a lot of people may want to claim it and who knows if they actually are affected by other people’s emotions or they just want to be.

[28:18] And what you were saying about your husband and taking on his, his emotions. I grew up like that. I always, always, I still to this day feel, grew up walking on eggshells around my father’s temper. And I would very flexibly try to change what I was doing to ensure his wrath wouldn’t come my way. And he was always yelling at us to be quiet, especially when we were little, little kids because kids are loud.

[28:43] Ask me why I don’t have any. But you know what this has meant as an adult is that when I am experiencing a lot of loudness in my environment, like when my house was under construction, it was a very anxiety riddled time. And I finally pinpointed it down to this part of my childhood and, and, and yet knowing that wasn’t enough to fix it.

[29:09] You know, it’s, it’s a process. And so I had to come up with ways to compensate around that, learn tools to manage it. And it’s still to this day, I am not in 100 percent control of my body’s reaction to noise, especially sudden noise and prolonged noise.

[29:26] Ydaiber: So interesting. I have the same issue.

[29:29] Paulette: Yeah.

[29:29] Ydaiber: And I did not grow up in an environment like that for me, actually, just like you were mentioning about what the pandemic did to you in terms of like all of these concerns about germs, for me, noise became a thing. And it actually, it’s, it’s being a part of some investigation and researchers about potentially long COVID effects related to sound because I have become extremely sensitive to sound. Like anything that is very loud will trigger me.

[30:00] It can actually will get me angry. I just get very reactive around loud sound. It’s like, it’s almost like my brain, I get like immediate brain fog. It’s a really weird response that I’ve been having. So I don’t know if it’s truly related to COVID or related to the times of COVID, but it’s something that has definitely come up in the last few years.

[30:20] So I totally empathize with that. But also what I wanted to say was that in human design, there’s a term that we use that is called conditioning. And conditioning is the things that you were conditioned to do throughout your entire life that might not necessarily be your design. So when something doesn’t resonate, it doesn’t mean that your design is off.

[30:44] It’s like, that’s where you have to really sit and wait and listen to where this is coming from because many times the resistance, right, that resistance that you felt right away when I say Hermit and you’re like, no, it’s like, wait a minute. If I were to live life on my terms, how would I behave? Not what is expected of me, not what I’ve been told to do, not what I have been modeled in my past by my parents or by my, my caretakers, but how would I actually function if none of those things were put in the way for me?

[31:17] And maybe you will understand and notice that your natural response will be way more aligned to your design than when you think. Because again, we think and analyze a lot of these things. So a lot of these responses, sometimes we just have to truly sit with them and feel them and see and notice how it feels in our bodies.

[31:35] Some generators are emotional authority and some are sacral, like in my case, I’m sacral authority. So sound, actually, it’s a very important response for us because we use sound to connect to the sacral by responding to things that are coming our way. For example, Paulette posts on Facebook that she’s looking for someone who knows human design and she’s a Latina.

[32:01] My body immediately is a hell yes, right? Like, Ooh, I want to do this, right? Maybe a different person wouldn’t have caused the same reaction for me. And it would have been like, Hmm, should I? And then that now it’s going through my mind. Now I’m analyzing it, which is not the way I’m supposed to respond. So again, that’s how your human design is going to help you the most.

[32:24] It’s noticing how you are meant supposed to be responding to things, responding to the stimulus of life. And then applying your authority and your energy type towards those things. So I know it sounds super, super complicated, but I promise you the more that you just get really clear about your energy, your strategy, your authority, things will be easier and you will start deconditioning the things that you grew up with or that you believe were true to you.

[32:56] Paulette: Ooh, we’re going to come back to that because I have a whole episode on it, but going back to what you were saying about deconditioning. So one of the questions that came up when I was researching this was, can you change your human design? But it’s, it’s based on your birth time, so I’m guessing the answer is no, right?

[33:15] Ydaiber: Your chart’s not going to change. The way that you interact with life and with the things that come to you, it’s what can change. So yeah, if you grew with somebody who was always telling you, shut up. Shut up. You don’t have nothing important to share with me. And in your design, your throat is defined and everything is pointing out to this need of you to speak and to share.

[33:39] You definitely want to reprogram that in you, right? You can see that on your channels and gates of human design. If you have your throat defined and you’re meant to be talking and you’re meant to be speaking your truth, what is it that you are supposed to be speaking about, right? So going back to my design, as an example, it’s like, Oh, my head is defined.

[34:01] My, all of the top of my chart is defined. So it’s about concepts. It’s about point of views. It’s about all this. So when I understood that, it gave me almost permission to be like, Oh, I don’t have to silence myself about this anymore. I don’t know if you know this about me, but I had been so self conscious of my accent for the last 20 years of my life.

[34:22] I have a speech coach that I see every other week because I am so insecure about how I sound that, I mean, I’m not as bad as I used to be. But for years I would not give myself permission to speak up because I knew that people were going to make fun of me or that people were going to criticize the way I spoke or so forth and so on.

[34:43] And literally yesterday, I got a message from somebody telling me, Oh my God, your accent has improved so much. Like I am impressed of all the work you’ve done. And I’m like, Oh my God, you know. But if I listen to what I was told, right, for the first, especially the first 10 years living in this country where I was told, what?

[35:03] I don’t understand what you’re saying. Your accent is too strong. Or an acting teacher told me, you need to move to Miami and do telenovelas because nobody’s going to understand what you do in English. Like I was told this. So all of these things accumulated. So when somebody said to me, you should do a podcast, I said, are you kidding me? No!

[35:24] Paulette: Sure. That’s like hitting on your biggest insecurity.

[35:27] Ydaiber: But then that’s what happens, right? When you discover your biggest shadows and you shine light in them, and you’re like, I’m not scared anymore. You can say whatever you want to say. I’m still going to speak.

[35:37] Paulette: Good for you.

[35:38] Ydaiber: Then these things happen. This magic happens. So that’s the gift that human design has given me.

[35:44] Paulette: Huh.

[35:45] Ydaiber: Yeah.

[35:45] Paulette: And again, it’s just a tool. Like you said at the very beginning, it’s just a tool. It’s not the only tool, right?

[35:50] Ydaiber: Absolutely.

[35:50] Paulette: Like a hammer is not the correct tool for many construction projects. And a hammer is a tool that you don’t use in cooking. So, it would not be appropriate in all situations.

[36:04] Ydaiber: Or, or use it as an excuse, right, because that’s the other thing. That’s, even when you were talking about empaths, sometimes, well, I’m just an empath, and they use that as an excuse to really not own their responsibility in the story, right? So, same thing with human design.

[36:18] It’s funny because sometimes my husband will say, well, my design, I say, no, no, no, no, no, this has nothing to do with your design right now.

[36:24] Paulette: It’s not an excuse. You are still a human being that makes choices. And I think that’s an important point, not to belittle your husband at all. We are human and we, we make choices.

[36:34] And I think you, you mentioned a lot of things that are just toxic behaviors in our society that we’ve normalized. And this podcast is all about examining those so that we really recognize what’s toxic and what isn’t and what’s helpful and what isn’t. This is fascinating. I’ve always been fascinated with things like plain Astrology, Vedic Astrology, and then some people started talking about human design.

[37:01] I was like, more? More? My mother, my mother works with the chakras, so I’m, I have a little bit of familiarity with that.

[37:09] Ydaiber: Great.

[37:09] Paulette: But it’s all fascinating. It’s all really cool how it, there’s, there’s, there was a question that came up is, is human design a cult? And I think that it gets a bad rap because again, it’s just a tool, but people who are really invested in the tool, people who are really into hammers, really want to sell you on hammers and how hammers are the best thing ever.

[37:33] Right? So we need to make sure that as humans making our own decisions, we recognize that.

[37:39] Ydaiber: Discernment, right? For everything that we do, it’s all about discernment at the end of the day, right? And my first human design reading happened in 2018 and the person who did the reading, I mean, I think she was very new. I was brand new to it, and I was just like, this does not resonate, this does not resonate.

[37:57] And then, it was not until I kept digging deeper and understanding my design that I was like, oh, wait, wait, no, it does resonate. I was just like, defensive about it because it’s not, human design it’s not just like, Oh, these are your gifts and you’re fabulous. No, it shows you your shadow side too, which is very important for us to be aware of it so that we know what are the things that we need to decondition or the things that we need to work on.

[38:20] But yeah, it is not the only tool and it’s definitely not the only tool I use. I constantly add tools to my tool bag.

[38:28] Paulette: So in a nurture versus nature scenario, you’re saying that even though you grew up being one way, looking through the lens of human design, you might discover that you’ve been conditioned in certain ways, like I am reactive to noise, and I can decondition myself from that because that’s not necessarily in my chart.

[38:50] We don’t know because we haven’t done a very thorough reading of my chart. But if it isn’t, then that’s not something I need to hang on to. And so coming back to what you were saying, I did an episode on how sometimes the stories we tell about ourselves are so easy and ingrained, and even though they may not be true anymore, we still say them and we still cling to them because it’s easy, it’s safe, and again, it’s so deeply ingrained that it feels like it’s part of your identity, and it’s hard to give up pieces of your identity as you change and as you grow.

[39:24] But it’s necessary. So the example I always use is that I hate fish, which is categorically untrue. I love sushi. I love all kinds of preparations of fish. What I really do not like is baked salmon. And again, this is a childhood thing because salmon must have been really cheap when we were young in the 80s because we ate it a lot and it always had pin bones in it.

[39:47] It’s probably why it was cheap. And so I was always scared to eat it. And we had other types of fish like bacalao, which is the best fish preparation in the world. Fried fritters. Yes. So the salmon was not prepared that way. It was only prepared one way. And I just, I hated it. And to this day I can still feel those emotions locked in my body around a baked piece of salmon and I can’t let go of that.

[40:16] So it comes out as I hate fish, which is a categorical lie. It is an absolute not true statement and yet it’s so deeply ingrained in there and it’s part of the identity. And letting go of that is hard. I constantly have to correct myself in my own mind to say, I don’t like certain types of fish. I do like salmon.

[40:36] I like salmon in sushi. I like salmon on my bagel. I love that type of fish. I don’t like this one very specific way that one type of fish is prepared. And that’s okay. It’s okay to be an adult and not like certain foods. I just have to change that pathway that that specific line travels through my brain so that there’s some speed bumps in there to knock it off course, because it’s not true. So I’m building that up in my mind. And coming back to human design, I’ve self conditioned, haven’t I?

[41:12] Ydaiber: Yeah. And that happens with things as basic as food and happens with bigger, bigger, bigger lies that we tell ourselves. And this is a lifetime process. This is not something, they even call it the human design experiment for a reason, right?

[41:27] This is not like, here, here’s your chart, you’re done. Check. It does not work like that. This is a constant process where we just have to be aware of like, well, if I’m meant to be functioning in this way, and I’ve been told my entire life that I should be working 12 hour days because that’s how I get my value.

[41:46] That’s how I get my love. That’s how I get my approval. Then something needs to change, right? So it’s like, how do you get that out of your body? And that’s something that I constantly, constantly have to be working on, because my approval as a child came from being a good student. It came from being a people pleaser.

[42:05] It came from saying yes to everyone and not, didn’t matter what I did for myself as long as I showed everyone that I love them and that I would do anything for them. So that’s something that I am working in reprogramming now. Because it’s like we’re all worthy of love without having to prove ourselves, without having to do everything for everybody else.

[42:30] So I don’t have to do a thing. And I still deserve love. So this is like beyond human design now, right? This is just something that we have to just continue to find the right tools to do this reprogramming, right? And people use therapy or EMDR or tapping or writing. So there are tools for us to do that kind of work and not every tool is going to work for everybody, but yeah, that’s something that human design can help you at least to understand how you are supposed to be processing that, but it won’t give you necessarily the answer. Like knowing it doesn’t mean that he will fix it. It’s just the awareness of it.

[43:11] Paulette: But awareness is key. It’s like G. I. Joe used to say, knowing is half the battle, right?

[43:16] Ydaiber: Yeah.

[43:17] Paulette: I love how I can tie it back to my childhood yet again.

[43:20] So let’s switch gears entirely away from human design. Or you can tell me if human design helped inform this choice. You are also childfree. Do you think human design, is that imprinted in the chart?

[43:33] Ydaiber: I just got goosebumps. I didn’t know until recently that my channel of mating, and my husband’s channel of mating, it’s not defined in the chart.

[43:47] So no, it did not inform the decision whatsoever, but it was so interesting to realize that, well, maybe we’re not meant to have kids anyway. So we’re never meant to have kids. So I found this super, super interesting. And yeah, the choice was a very clear choice for me growing up. It has always been a very clear choice.

[44:07] It was not even like a question. It was more like, Oh, we’re not having kids, right? We’re not having kids. You know what I mean? It was, it was almost a very natural transition into our relationship. And even the decision to have dogs, I get to express a lot of my maternal instincts, if you will, that way. I mother in many different ways.

[44:26] I mother as a coach, I take my job very seriously and I do want my clients to feel held and to feel heard and to feel empowered. I think that those are some qualities that moms have and that’s how I get to express mine, you know, and I’m not comparing one thing to the other by any means, not to disrespect what mothers do, I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t have one.

[44:50] But yeah, it was never a desire for me. It was never a desire. And I think that those feelings, if you will, I have been able to place them in the things that I do. I mother all the different tons of projects that I have, constantly I’m creating. I get to create. That’s what I birth. I birth ideas constantly.

[45:10] Paulette: I love that line. It is a line another one of my guests, Talia Molé, has also said she helps birth creative ideas, which is almost exactly what you just said. I think I should connect the two of you because it would be a beautiful synergy. And I’m at a loss for words to describe to you what all of that made me feel. Because for me it was also the idea of me having a child seemed as foreign as being abducted by an alien.

[45:41] Like, not to belittle or minimize what it takes to have children. I’m not trying to say that. It feels like it doesn’t make any sense for me to be a mom. And yet, I am constantly creating, right? And, and that’s, that is the first part of mothering. Then there’s the raising. Right? The raising of parenthood, not just motherhood, but parenthood.

[46:03] It is the raising of this concept, whether that is a human being or an idea or art or whatever, and then watching it grow and become something new, whether or not you have control of that. And that can be a beautiful journey and it can be a painful journey.

[46:22] Ydaiber: It is.

[46:23] Paulette: Both of those are intertwined. It will be both. And, I love not being a parent because it gives me more freedom to be an aunt. I’m, I’m a titi, they say tia in Venezuela or titi?

[46:35] Ydaiber: Yeah, yeah, tia.

[46:36] Paulette: And that role is not one I take for granted because it’s so important to me. Do you have niblings, nieces and nephews?

[46:44] Ydaiber: So here’s the thing. I lost both of my siblings.

[46:48] Paulette: Oh, I’m so sorry.

[46:50] Ydaiber: So, biologically. Thank you. Thank you for acknowledging that. I have a half brother who has two adult son and a daughter, but I’m not close to them. We, we didn’t grow up together. But on my husband’s side, his sister had two beautiful girls and I am very involved in their life as much as I can, because they live in a different state. But that’s how I also get to be the cool tia.

[47:16] The cool tia that is an artist that lives in LA. They love that, you know? So, so it’s, I love it. I take my role very seriously too.

[47:23] Paulette: Yeah, and that’s not to say that you can’t also be that tia and have that tia energy to other people who you’re not biologically related to. One of my other guests, her best friend’s daughter is her niece, and it’s, it’s, blood is not always thicker than water.

[47:40] The bonds that we make with people are what matter. And there are other younger people in my sphere of influence who also come to me for that tia energy, that titi energy, and I’m glad to be able to give it. And that’s, I’m very happy in that space. And I’m very happy to be able to provide that for people.

[48:00] And right now, when we’re recording this is Pride Month.

[48:03] Ydaiber: Yeah.

[48:03] Paulette: And what breaks my heart constantly is parents who don’t accept their children. Why did you have them? Yeah, quite honestly, like this is something I will get on a soapbox about. So I’m watching my social medias and people talking about coming out and being disowned and I just want to give them all hugs.

[48:22] I just want to be your Tia that can give you a warm hug and tell you that you are loved. And you deserve love and you don’t have to do anything to earn it. I’m so sorry that that’s happening to you. So those are the thoughts that go around my head as a non-parent. Watching other people fuck it up.

[48:39] Ydaiber: Yeah. Well, you know, first I have a very big influence from my tias. My own tias are second mothers to me. You know, I have one tia on my mom’s side who is, I mean, she’s the one that I go to when I have any questions about life. She’s a very spiritual woman and she also lost her son and also in a car accident.

[49:01] So it’s a very weird connection that we all have in my family. So I’m super, super close to her. And then my aunt on my dad’s side, it’s also the one that I talk to, especially when it comes to like, Ay, me duele esto, it’s like, I have a pain here, what’s going on? And she’s like, Oh, mi hijita, don’t worry.

[49:18] Like, so I have a really, really close relationship with both of my tias. And then when you talk about pride, I am very proud to be one of the biggest allies of the LGBTQ plus community. In my podcast this month, every person that I’m bringing in, it’s part of the community because I want to amplify their voices.

[49:35] And I think it’s that too, what you’re describing is that, the energy that I just want to like, I just want to support you so badly because I want you to know how much you’re loved and how fabulous you are and how creative you get to be. And yeah, it’s, it’s a big. It’s a big part of my mission too, to uplift these voices and it is in my human design. It is in my human design, there is a gate. Let me see if I have it here, it’s the gate 23, yeah, it’s the gate 23 and I have it in like, in my purpose line, it’s the, it’s the line of Communication and voicing.

[50:13] I’m here to communicate radical ideas. So again, when I see those things, you’re like, yeah, that makes total sense. It’s right there. It’s in the design.

[50:23] Paulette: Bringing it back and keeping us on track. I love it. I love it when I interview other podcasters and they’re just able to do that. Great job. Thank you so much for all of this information. And, and sharing all of this so freely with us today because like you said, this is complicated and it doesn’t solve the problem, but it does give us a new lens to look at things. And I’m still, I’m, I’m so fascinated. I go down these rabbit holes with this stuff, and I’m just like, what else can I glean from this to just be a better person?

[50:54] Like I’m always on a personal development journey. It’s one of my favorite things.

[50:57] Ydaiber: Yes. And that’s a beautiful journey to be in because we never end it. It’s ongoing. It’s ongoing. We learn. We learn. And I think that’s one of the things also that I’m super passionate about. It’s like, well, what else can I learn?

[51:08] And even with human design, there are things, again, there’s so many layers. It goes deep. It goes really, really, really deep. So you could get into rabbit hole for months and still just get the surface of it.

[51:22] Paulette: That’s so cool. Thank you again, Ydaiber. Where can we find you?

[51:26] Ydaiber: You can find me on my Instagram at Ydaiber. So as long as you type it correctly, very easy to find me. And then my website is www. rekindlyourlight. com. That is the name of my business, the name of the podcast, the name of everything that I do. If you have questions about getting a reading or some people like to have the one on one interaction where I’m able to go through the chart with you. Some people might have a two on their profile and just don’t want to talk to anybody, just want to kind of, want I get the information, but don’t want to talk to me, they can also get an option to just get the PDF that is personalized to them with, again, all the basics.

[52:05] It’s about an 11 page document that I create for the person so they can go to it at their own pace. Yeah. So when it comes to human design, that’s it. And then I do coaching as well. So you’re able to find all the details there and just, ask me questions. Yeah. I love to connect with listeners and, and see what resonated, what they want to learn about more.

[52:24] And yeah, you can reach out in, in social media. So very easy.

[52:28] Paulette: Thank you so much. Before we end this, don’t forget to check out the Substack newsletter to hear our discussion on Elon Musk. Oops, I gave it away. Well, now, you know, see you on Substack. The link is in the show notes.

[52:41] Ydaiber: Well, all I want to say is that it’s called a blueprint because you are unique. Nobody is designed the same exact way as you are. So utilize whatever you want to call it, your design, your astrological sign, whatever you want to make you aware and realize how special you are.

[53:07] There’s only one you. And that’s the burrito.[53:12] Paulette: Hey, mira, if this episode made you feel some kind of way, dígame, DM me on Instagram, or send me a text. You can do that right from your phone. If you want to be a guest on the show and put your story out there too, check out the guest form on my website at pauletterato. com slash guest. Yep, just my name. pauletterato. com slash guest. Y no se te olvide que hay más perks when you join the newsletter. Todos estos links están en los show notes. Muchísimas gracias for your support y hasta la próxima vez, cuídate bien.