#90 – For Love or Clients with Childfree Latina Mafe Salazar

[00:00] Paulette: Buen dia mi gente, and welcome to La Vida Más Chévere de Childfree Latinas, the only Spanglish podcast for childfree Latinas y Latines helping us liberate ourselves from the toxic cultural brainwashing we all grew up, with so that we can design our best lives instead. I’m your host and resident childfree Latina Paulette Erato.

[00:24] Mafe Salazar is a Canadian podcaster that I met through Latinas In Podcasting. I didn’t know her before. She submitted a speaker proposal for the inaugural October 2024 event. While her podcast is called From Tourist to Local, it’s all about transitioning, not just traveling. Life transitions, like finally getting out of survival mode into thriving mode. Interestingly, my wine friend Caroline talked about the specific transition when moving countries, how transplants have phases they move through.

[00:57] She has lived in Lyon, France for many years and posted some advice about that transition in an Instagram reel, and it caused a wee little bit of controversy, which Caroline doesn’t shy away from. So I’ll leave you a link for that in the show notes. Well, since immigration is such a hot button topic at the moment, especially here in the US, let’s hear about the experience in other countries.

[01:17] Honestly, we laugh so much during this episode that my face hurt at the end of the hour because Mafe is hilarious and she also doesn’t shy away from being controversial. To introduce you to Mafe. I’m just gonna read her bio because I’ve recently forgotten to do that for other guests, and hers has a naughty Spanish word in it that I love.

[01:34] So here we go. Mafe Salazar is the podcast alchemist who turns up the heat on your show, so you get seen, trusted, and paid. A Venezuelan transplant to Vancouver, she traded corporate life for a mic and a well timed ¡coño! Controversial as arepa origins, which she claims are Venezuela obviously, she helps clients ignite their voice while sharing their own journey on From Tourist to Local.

[02:00] A podcast about the messy, magical reinvention of starting over. Mafe invites listeners to own their magic, that unshakeable truth of who you are when you stop shrinking and start showing up. Also, yours truly has been on our show, so I’ll leave you a link for that too, and let’s go talk to Mafe.

[02:18] Mafe, thanks so much for being here. How are you today?

[02:22] Mafe: Thank you so much for having me Paulette. I am doing amazing.

[02:26] Paulette: Let’s jump right in and talk about From Tourist to Local, which is going through a little bit of a transition. Tell us about the podcast. What got you into podcasting?

[02:34] Mafe: Oh my God. Yeah. Transition is an understatement. I feel like I am literally like Mariana Trench deep into my podcast right now just because I am literally dissecting everything that there is to be about my podcast. So my podcast From Tourist to Local is about navigating life transitions. It’s about telling people that they can figure their shit out while also being the magical beings that they are. And the reason why it’s going through a transition is because at the beginning when I got into podcasting, and I got into podcasting, not because I wanted to, it was more so a way of me to showing my work to my potential clients. It was more so like a portfolio. Yeah, I can also record episodes. I know how it works. I know how to edit yours. So here it is. And then as my business evolved, as I evolve as a human, I was like, maybe this needs more strategy.

[03:28] You know, like it’s not all about just recording episodes. It’s about really being strategic and really knowing what your podcast does. Right. And for me, my podcast went from wanting to tell my story, to me keep telling my story, but also now helping others tell their story and use their voices and all that.

[03:48] Paulette: To back up, to bring the audience up to speed. You’re from Venezuela originally, and now you live in Canada. Yeah. So was that experience what started your podcast or was it a catalyst for that, or how does that tie in?

[04:04] Mafe: Kinda, when I first moved to Canada in 2014, I was definitely a tourist and I feel like it doesn’t really sets in that you’re moving to a new country until like three months have passed, or maybe like six months, and you’re like, oh shit.

[04:17] Like this is my house now. Like I have to take things seriously in order to build my life here. Because at the very beginning, the first three months, you’re like, yay, everything’s so cute. I am just getting to know all the places and doing all the touristy things because you’re getting used to a new city, right?

[04:34] And you’re the beginner in the city. But then as time passes, you discover more things and discover more things, and then you start planting roots where you are. That’s when it becomes real. Yeah. In that transition, it’s what inspired it. That’s what the message I wanted to transmit, but for me it was more so, okay, let’s make a business out of this, out of my podcast, and that’s where we are right now.

[04:57] Paulette: Let’s talk about podcasting as a business, because earlier this year you had to make a choice, right, about whether or not you were going to continue to build this business or, or look for employment elsewhere. Why don’t you tell us about that?

[05:11] Mafe: Oh my God, where do I even start? It started, actually, one of the things that I say is that the Latinas In Podcasting Summit was a pivotal moment for me where I realized that this is what I wanna do.

[05:22] I wanna tell people about podcasting. And I want to tell people to launch the podcast and to use their voice and to tell their story because the world needs more of that, especially for Latinas. And for me, that was a pivotal moment. I was like, I wanna do this. And then at that time in my life, I was going through a really rough time at work.

[05:42] I was starting to feel that I wasn’t being seen. I wasn’t taken into consideration when decisions were made. I. I didn’t feel heard at my job, even though I was using my voice. My boss just didn’t wanna hear me. He knew that I was on my way out. So he was like, but do I even bother? You know? Right. And then I feel like at the end it was almost like a cry for help.

[06:02] I was like, you know what? Yeah, I maybe wanna take this nine to five more seriously. And they were like, actually no, your time here is over. Pack your backs. You’re going.

[06:13] Paulette: Oh, that’s rough.

[06:13] Mafe: Yeah, it was rough, but at the same time it was a relief. I, I felt relief and I kind of felt like, oh my God, finally! Finally, they let me go.

[06:22] Now I can go and do my own thing, which was me going headfirst into my business full-time. Mm-hmm. Even when it didn’t like make sense ’cause I could have just gone and gotten another job. Like I work in accounting and they look for accountants everywhere all the time. So it would’ve been really easy for me just to go into another accounting job.

[06:41] That’s not really what I want. I want freedom. I wanna make my own hours. I wanted my job to be fun, like not something that I have to do because I need to survive, not something that I have to do to fit in society. That’s one of the reasons why I moved to Canada, because I didn’t feel like I fit in Venezuela.

[07:01] So I was like, I need to go somewhere where I can reinvent myself. That’s kind of what inspired the podcast or like this iteration of the podcast because my podcast has evolved. At the beginning it was called The Spanglish Show, and it was the same thing. It was me telling my story and and inviting other people to also tell their stories. But then I realized that there’s a better meaning to, From Tourist to Local. It’s not only about like speaking Spanglish and code switching, it is more so about navigating life.

[07:28] Paulette: Mm-hmm.

[07:28] Mafe: Through that, like from point A to point B.

[07:31] Paulette: Mm-hmm. And man, let me tell you, it feels like that journey never ends. But that’s what life is, right?

[07:36] Life’s a journey. We’re in different chapters, or we’re in different eras or seasons of life. And so now the season of life is full-time entrepreneur for you. Mm-hmm. How do you feel about that?

[07:47] Mafe: Well, about being an entrepreneur. I feel like a tourist right now. Definitely. I’m in my tourist era, but like in my entrepreneurship journey.

[07:56] Paulette: Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense.

[07:58] Mafe: And yeah, I feel like I’ve lived so many lives, so many different journeys, hacked into one. Live that it’s just, it’s just crazy to me. I feel excited. I just launched a workshop and I am celebrating that the three people sign up for my workshop. Yes. Like how exciting is that?

[08:13] People that didn’t even know I existed as of yesterday, just because I decided I am gonna take a risk and maybe this is gonna fail spectacularly. Or, it’s gonna be the biggest shift of my life, and if I fail, then I can go back to accounting, like nothing happens. The safe net, safety net.

[08:30] Paulette: Safety net, yeah. I have been following you obviously since we worked together on the Latinas In Podcasting Virtual Summit last year, and I saw a post you made.

[08:40] Which really touched me. Because what you said was that last year when you applied and you were submitting a blind proposal to someone who didn’t know you, didn’t know your background, it was a very strong proposal, I will say. The options for speakers at the time was, do you want to create your own presentation or do you wanna be interviewed?

[08:58] Because for some people, especially if you’ve never spoken at a virtual summit, it can be daunting. Mm-hmm. And you, in the post said that at the time you chose to be interviewed because you didn’t trust the power of your voice. And now you’re like, that is no longer me. And I was so proud of you to see that because I’ve seen the evolution and you seem to have blossomed as a person.

[09:21] You have changed gears with a podcast. You’ve changed jobs, you have entered your entrepreneurship era, even if you are in the tourist season of it, but you seem so much happier and lighter. Seriously, Mafe. Oh, like you seem like you have really evolved. So take us through that. What was the catalyst for that post even?

[09:41] Mafe: For me Threads is where I put all my unhinged thoughts, so same. Follow me there. If you want.

[09:48] Paulette: All the links will be in the show notes.

[09:49] Mafe: I feel like I’ve been in a really reflective season of my life, especially after losing my job. It’s me looking inside myself and being like, what do I wanna do? What does make me happy? Because up until this point, I feel like I had been on surviving mode. Mm-hmm. And I feel like I had always been chasing the next thing. So when I was in my tourist season, when I moved to Vancouver, it was like, okay, I am here with a student permit. If I wanna stay here, I need to go to college. Okay. What do I wanna do in college?

[10:21] Whatever’s cheapest because I could not afford like the insane amount of money that you have to pay as an international student. Oof. Okay. Now the next step, I graduated from college. What do I do now? I need to get a job and I need to apply for permanent residence. What does that look like for me? And then like getting a job and not surviving, living my life, affording my bills and all that stuff.

[10:42] I feel it doesn’t really leave you a lot of room to really think about what you want to do. For me, it was up until the point that I became a Canadian citizen. And like it is a journey, it took me nine years to become a Canadian citizen.

[10:55] Paulette: Oh, wow.

[10:56] Mafe: So I feel like it’s a journey for me that for those nine years I was mostly surviving.

[11:00] I felt like I could breathe once I got my Canadian citizenship. And then now I can really look at what I wanna do with my life, career-wise. Right. Professionally. And I was like, okay, maybe I do wanna go to the accounting route. Spoiler alert. No, I did not wanna go to that route ’cause there’s gonna be an income cap eventually.

[11:18] You know, there’s only so much money that I can make if I don’t do my own thing. So why am I doing this to myself and working for someone and working on something that, yeah, I’m really good at it, but it doesn’t light me up.

[11:30] Okay.

[11:30] So for me it was, I was in a very, I’ve been in a very reflective season.

[11:36] This, what is it, four months that I’ve been without a job, and that is one of the things that reflecting back in my life and the things that have like really made an impact. It was a pivotal moment for me being a speaker in Latinas In Podcasting because one, it was the first time that I was speaking on something, even though I decided to be interview about it.

[11:54] Mm-hmm. It opened the doors for me, like people found me that, again, didn’t know me before that. And it’s people that I now have in my orbit, like Steph Wharton.

[12:03] Paulette: I am gonna stop here and make a note about Steph Wharton, who Mafe just mentioned. Steph was another speaker at the virtual summit who we both met for the first time back then.

[12:12] Not only is she also a Canadian Latina podcaster, or is it Latina podcaster in Canada? No, se. She’s also a speaking coach. And the creator of the Speaker Movement. Another annual event linked to Hispanic Heritage Month. And this year I’m proud to say that Latinas In Podcasting is a sponsor of the Speaker Movement.

[12:30] Not only because I have Steph to thank for igniting my TEDx journey, but also because being in community with Latina speakers who own their voices is exactly what Latinas In Podcasting is all about. Links in the show notes.

[12:45] So you’ve said a couple times that that was a pivotal moment. What was the pivot? Was the pivot finding your voice? Was it finding that entrepreneurship is really viable for you? What did you pivot from into?

[12:55] Mafe: I was really quiet about what I did besides my nine to five. I made my nine to five basically my whole identity, it was my whole personality. ’cause I really like where I work. I really like the people who I work with.

[13:06] I did not necessarily was light up, but the work that I was doing. Mm-hmm. ’cause it was very boring. Numbers is very predictable and very boring. But then when you work with podcasts, it’s so fun. It’s like a new thing that you can do every day. And it obviously has its challenge on its own, but it’s just amazing.

[13:23] And then the pivot really was getting to talk about something that I really love. Getting to tell people, yes you are also allowed to use your voice. Mm-hmm. You are also allowed to I don’t know if there’s spaghetti at the wall and see if it works, you know? Mm-hmm. You are allowed to do whatever you want because it is your life and you have to do what makes you happy.

[13:43] And at that point in my life, I wasn’t really happy. Mm. Because again, I was just surviving.

[13:47] Paulette: Well, that all makes sense. When did you become a Canadian citizen?

[13:51] Mafe: So, two years ago. 2023.

[13:56] Paulette: Oh, wow. Yeah. Wow. Mm-hmm. So it’s really recent. Yes. Did you have to give up your Venezuelans citizenship for that? Or you can have no, you have both.

[14:03] So you have dual citizenship.

[14:04] Mafe: Yeah. You can have both. Mm-hmm.

[14:05] Paulette: Oh, that’s cool. So you said that you were tired of being quiet, especially about what it is that you’re capable of in this whole creative realm that’s probably counterpoint to accounting, which is like you’re saying, very predictable. What do you feel being quiet cost you up to this point, and how do you feel that being vocal has paid off or has that cost you too?

[14:26] Mafe: Last year was, I feel like it was a transition year for me.

[14:29] Paulette: Mm-hmm.

[14:29] Mafe: What cost me was money probably. I left a lot of money on the table by being quiet. Mm-hmm. And two, it caused me momentum. I was having a really successful season for my podcast and the last season that I produced in 2023, and I was like, I’m gonna do two seasons a year and this is how it’s gonna be.

[14:48] But then 2024 came and it just hit me in the face, like I was completely depressed. I was also going through a relationship shit, and it was like so many things that I just decided to close up. I am just gonna focus on my nine to five because literally that’s the only thing that’s making me money right now.

[15:09] And I need to survive, basically. I need to pay my bills. I need to pay for Abby’s treats.

[15:16] Paulette: Abby, so Doggo.

[15:17] Mafe: Yeah. She’s my dog. She’s my child, but she’s my fur child.

[15:20] Paulette: We’ll talk about that.

[15:23] Mafe: So technically not childfree. Well, and I am child, like human, childfree.

[15:28] Paulette: We will dissect that in a moment. But yeah. Let’s go back to so you’re in survival mode.

[15:33] Mafe: Yeah. I closed my business. I closed my podcast for like a full year. And then on December 31st, 2024, I had recorded an episode of the emotional scam that I went through in 2024, and I was like. You know what? December 31st, 2024. This stays in 2024. I don’t wanna take it to 2025. I’m gonna post this episode.

[15:58] May this be the only episode that I post in 2024. And from there, I feel like it has snowballed down into me again, getting let go of my job. And then I was like, I am gonna go all in into my podcast and then tell the people all about the things that I am living through right now.

[16:15] Paulette: So now that you’re more vocal and now that you feel free to use your voice, you’re empowered. How are things changing?

[16:21] Mafe: Honestly, it’s a constant struggle to be this vocal and to show up. Today I did something, I just muted my story for a bunch of people from work. Because that’s what I need to do to be able to fully show up as myself. Maybe they’re gonna say things I don’t care. But now I have three people on my workshop.

[16:39] I have my coach telling me, you are doing amazing. I am talking to people every day. And it’s not only about like me finding clients, it’s about making connections with other people and just getting to know all this different kind of people like around the world. It’s just amazing. And the fact that I get to help other people like make their podcast better. It’s just cherry on top.

[17:02] And one of the things that I have been doing, talking about networking, is that I have been treating dating as networking.

[17:08] Paulette: Oh my God, please talk more about that because I want everyone to hear this story.

[17:12] Mafe: Again last year, the emotional scam happened.

[17:14] I spent way too much time on therapy, like talking about that guy, and I was like 2025, new year, new me, I don’t care. I think it was February. Me and my friend found out that there were like some single mixers around the city and I was like, okay, like let’s just do it. Like why not? So that what kind of like spark the dating like I dunno flame in me, I guess.

[17:35] So in this like navigating entrepreneurship, I started going to networking events because obviously the people on my network, my friends, are not my clients. And like nothing against them, but you’re not gonna give me money. So I love you, but I’m a business woman, you know? Mm-hmm. I need to make money.

[17:53] So yeah, I started like going to single mixers and I was like, okay, maybe I’ll go for love. Or clients, who knows? I am open to all the possibilities, honestly.

[18:03] Paulette: So how does that work? So let’s say you’re at a singles mixer. How do you turn it into, like looking for clients? What’s that conversation like?

[18:11] Mafe: I, I didn’t actually convert anyone from there.

[18:14] I don’t think I even made like a single connection from the Singles Mixers event. But I was like, if I don’t find love, then I might as well find clients.

[18:23] Paulette: I mean, it’s a great idea.

[18:24] Mafe: It’s a connection, right? Yes. It’s, I don’t, I don’t know who they know. I don’t know who their friends are. Mm-hmm. There was actually a guy that worked in film.

[18:32] I don’t know what happened to him, but what if that connection had gone somewhere? Maybe he could have connected me to like other people. And going back to the apps, ’cause people ask you boring questions like what do you do for a living, you know? Like the usual. So I’m like, yeah, I have a podcast. I’m a podcast manager.

[18:50] This is what I do. And, and it was really funny ’cause I saw like a little spike on downloads and I’m like, what is this? This doesn’t make any sense why, what happened? Because it was like on random days. ’cause I usually publish on Tuesdays and you see the spike on downloads on, on, on the Tuesday. I’m like, what is this?

[19:04] What is going on? And then I go back through my conversations and I’m like. Oh, this is why. Mm-hmm. Aligned listeners? I don’t know. Probably not. But thank you so much for, for the visibility boost.

[19:18] Paulette: Exactly. Thanks for the downloads.

[19:21] Mafe: So that’s what gave me the idea of seeing dating as networking, because at the end of the day, you’re just making a new connection.

[19:28] And also for me, like it has taken such a weight off of like the dating portion of it.

[19:35] Paulette: Mm-hmm.

[19:35] Mafe: Because the dating app is just a tool, right? It’s just a tool that makes it easier to filter people. Because when you go to these networking events, it’s like, okay, yeah, it’s entrepreneurs, but maybe they’re married, maybe they’re gay, maybe they’re, I don’t know.

[19:47] So many things can happen in one person’s mind. But then if you know that these people are on the dating apps, you know they’re single.

[19:53] Paulette: You hope they are.

[19:56] Mafe: Listen, I’ve heard horror stories about dating and yeah.

[20:00] Paulette: Let’s talk more about what it is your business actually is. Can you describe it for people and are you looking for clientele? Are you open to that?

[20:09] Mafe: I am always looking for amazing people to help. I help people launch their podcasts. If you’re a business owner and you want your podcast to be a really like elite generation machine into turn your listeners into clients, come and hire me and work with me. I really go deep on the strategy.

[20:26] As I said, I have been going really, like Mariana Trench deep on my strategy right now for my show, for the things that I wanted to do. So it’s more about setting those foundations so that your show really thrives. Because it’s when you put your roots down, that you can actually grow up.

[20:43] Paulette: Mm-hmm.

[20:44] Mafe: Other ways that you can work with me?

[20:45] I have a little mini course right now. It’s called the Podcast Reset. If you have a podcast or if you wanna launch a podcast also, I would really recommend you go through that because again, like we go through the foundations and the things to look at in your podcast to really make it successful and to really make it work for you. Because the podcast can be like so many different things, right?

[21:03] And I really want you to know what your podcast is gonna be about and what the job of your podcast is. Is it to entertain? Is it to sell or to educate? Yeah. So really, that’s my passion and that’s what I’m passionate about, to really making people know what their podcast should be doing for them more so than, okay, sit down, record an episode today.

[21:23] Paulette: Mm-hmm.

[21:23] Mafe: So be more like, more, more about like mindful podcasting and again, making your podcast work for you. And yes, I am looking for clients. The Podcast Reset is available whenever you want. It’s open all year round. So it, it’s a notion document. Mm. That goes like straight into your inbox and it’s like a little private podcast.

[21:40] Then you can, you get to listen to me in your ears and then you can fix your podcast in a weekend.

[21:45] Paulette: That’s enticing because, especially if you’ve been podcasting for a while and you’re not seeing traction, the fact that you can take this notion document and really revitalize it over the course of just a couple of days? That can really help put people on the right track.

[22:01] Mafe: And one thing that I wanted to add regarding the Podcast Reset, I just wanna make it easy. Mm-hmm. There are so many people out there that have courses that are like 75 year long courses or however long. Mm-hmm. I just wanna make it easy for you. You have a lot of things on your plate, and podcasting as it is, is a lot of work, especially if you’re an independent podcaster.

[22:21] Paulette: Mm-hmm.

[22:22] Mafe: Because if you are doing everything by yourself, do you know how many moving pieces there are on a podcast? Especially if you are dropping episodes like weekly? Mm-hmm. It’s a lot of things to think about. So again, like that’s why I’m so adamant about, like, have your foundations set, have them be really strong.

[22:39] So that you can build from them. So when life happens, you can be like, okay, I don’t know what I’m gonna talk about today. Okay. But I have these foundations, I can go back to the basics. Mm-hmm. And take something from there and talk about that.

[22:49] Paulette: Anybody can start a podcast. It’s really not hard. And we talked about this.

[22:52] Mm-hmm. During your section for the virtual summit last year, how you had this great five week plan. Right. And there was a whole notion template with it. You are the queen of notion. I will put that out there for anybody who was looking for a notion person, but you broke it down in such a way where it felt manageable.

[23:10] And a lot of us, we start our podcast with no strategy. And that’s okay because it’s great to get your legs under you and realize how much work it is. But if you’re gonna stick with it and you wanna make something of it, that’s where you enter the season of podcasting where you’re like, okay, how do I make this work for me?

[23:27] And what you’re offering sounds like exactly what a lot of podcasters need.

[23:32] Mafe: Yeah. Again, I wanna make it manageable. I wanna make it easy for people to just, everyone can launch a podcast right now. You can just literally download the Creators for Spotify app, put on your headphones, record something on your phone, upload it like without even editing.

[23:47] There you go. That’s a podcast. It’s out in the world. Mm-hmm. Now is it gonna make you money? That’s another question.

[23:52] Paulette: Right? Right. And if you are trying to make money. That’s a completely different approach to podcasting. Mm-hmm. Than just using it as a passion project. And there’s no right or wrong for the individual.

[24:04] No. Some people want to just have a passion project and that’s great. You should still have some strategy behind it so that you don’t burn out. Right. Exactly. This is something we’re all trying to avoid because the world is built in a way that is going to force you to burn out, so mm-hmm. Don’t let your passions get swallowed up and burnt up in that.

[24:23] Mafe: I really want people to know that yeah, it is easy to launch a podcast and the more the merrier. There are so many podcasts in the world that have just faded. I am in my 50th episode, but I produce a couple other shows, and it’s evolving. And it’s always about evolving. I just wanna make it easy for everyone, and I just want everyone to know that their voice is so powerful.

[24:47] And then you can use your podcast for so much more than just content. You can put your life out there and help someone else, change someone else’s life. Just because of what you said, because of what you we’re brave enough to sit down, put your mic, put your headphones on, and then just say it out loud into the world.

[25:05] Paulette: Mm-hmm. Yes.

[25:05] And I, we talked about this on your podcast. Mm-hmm. If you as a listener have received any morsel of knowledge or something that really hit home for you while you’re listening to a podcast, please let them know.

[25:18] Mafe: Let us know.

[25:19] Paulette: Let the podcaster know. I made noise in the background for emphasis on that.

[25:27] Mafe: Please let us know. We really appreciate it. And even if you don’t wanna make it public, send us a dm.

[25:33] Paulette: Yeah, a dm, an email. And then to all the podcasters listening, make it easy for people to contact you, please. Sounds simple. Not everyone does it.

[25:43] Mafe: No, I hate it when people doesn’t do it. It’s like you’re talking about things in your podcast. Where am I supposed to find, if I can’t find it, then I’m not gonna look for it. You know, I’m not, I’m not that interested.

[25:52] Paulette: Right, right. We try to make things as simple as possible for the listeners. Right. So changing gears, you’re on this show because you are a childfree Latina.

[26:02] Mafe: I am. I am human childfree.

[26:05] Paulette: Human childfree. Yes. We’ve talked about Abby. Abby is a golden retriever. How old is Abby at this point?

[26:10] Mafe: She is turning five. Aw. This year. Next month.

[26:14] Paulette: How long have you had her?

[26:16] Mafe: Since she was a puppy. Since she’s since she was eight weeks old.

[26:19] Paulette: Did you grow up with dogs?

[26:21] Mafe: I did, not in my house. One of my aunts had a dog and I used to spend a lot of time at her house.

[26:26] But I’ve always loved dogs and I remember growing up one of the things that I used to say, and ever since I was like little, I’m like, yeah, I don’t want any kids. I just want a big farm with a bunch of dogs. That’s my dream. Maybe not a farm that I have to take care of myself. Maybe I pay people to do things for me, but I just really wanna have a lot of dogs.

[26:49] Paulette: So let’s get you lots of podcasting clients so you can have a lot of dogs.

[26:53] Mafe: So that I can afford them and a farm. So, ’cause I also like to travel, so I need someone.

[26:59] Paulette: It does make sense From Tourists to Local, that you would have some travel under your belt. So let’s talk about being childfree then aside from Abby. So you can do, consider yourself a fur mom, which is totally cool, whatever. I know people have very strong feelings about that and I don’t, I don’t understand why. So when

[27:17] Mafe: it’s like relax, you have your children, I have mine.

[27:20] Paulette: Yeah. And most people I see wearing things that say like fur mom or fur dad are parents of human children. So I feel like that whole debate is moot. But when did you realize that you didn’t want kids? Was there like a big revelation? Have you always known?

[27:37] Mafe: I feel like I’ve always known. But as I navigate through life, as I date people, I’m like, oh, well maybe if like the, the right one comes. And then this year I was like, you know what, no. I definitely don’t want kids.

[27:51] I love my friend’s kids. I love them completely. I am their godmother and I will spoil them rotten. Having to live with that 24 7 for 18 years of my life at least. No, thank you. At least. At least. Yeah, at least. And it might sound selfish for other people, probably not to the people that are listening to this podcast, but I don’t want my body to change.

[28:12] I already woke up at 3:00 AM when Abby like was a baby, to get her out to like for peeing in. I already went to potty training. I don’t wanna do it again.

[28:25] Paulette: Oh, you know, that makes sense. Yeah. I don’t blame you. And I don’t think it’s selfish to say, I don’t want my body to change. It’s your body. Why?

[28:35] Mafe: I don’t wanna be pregnant. You know how some people are like, oh, my biggest dream is to be pregnant and to be a mom. Mm-hmm. For me, it never was. It never has been in like the more pregnant people I see. I’m like, yay, good for you for growing a human.

[28:48] I mean, yeah, I could never.

[28:50] Paulette: We all know that it’s exhausting to gestate a human.

[28:54] It’s painful. It is horribly painful to birth that human. And then the recovery time after, and you’re not sleeping and you’re trying to make sure that this new person survives. Yeah, that just all sounds really terrible.

[29:08] Mafe: The postpartum as well. I think it’s years before you can recover from like the postpartum like mood. I don’t, I just know what my friends tell me.

[29:16] Paulette: Right. But I’m glad that they talk about it because I feel that if someone is dedicated to becoming a parent, they should know. They should know all of the pros and cons and all this stuff people don’t talk about so that you’re not surprised when something isn’t the fairy tale that you were led to believe you were gonna live.

[29:36] And I know for a lot of people even who do have children, they did hate being pregnant. They really hated that point of their lives. For them, they don’t understand the people who were like, oh, I loved being pregnant, because their experiences were so different. Different, yeah. You know, you can have horrible symptoms and ailments throughout that pregnancy and so to say, I don’t wanna do that.

[30:00] I don’t understand why anybody would think that’s selfish. Just because a person had a great birth experience, the nine months of gestation and then the birthing period, doesn’t mean that that’s true for everyone. And we’ve seen that. We’ve seen that. Yeah. So for all of us who are just out here observing, there’s not a lot selling us on it.

[30:20] Mafe: No. And I feel, I feel like people also romanticize the having a family thing. Mm-hmm. Having the husband, the kids, the white picket fence. It’s like not everybody wants that. Right. And then also for me, like I also grew up with a single mom. I don’t have anything against my mom or anything, but like it wasn’t that romantic vision of life that my childhood was.

[30:41] It was great. It was a great childhood. I love my childhood, but it was not what society wants you to think that childhood or that family is supposed to be. And yeah, just, just basically people are romanticizing that, and I, I don’t think they should, because like, not everybody wants that. Mm-hmm. And not everybody should judge you if you don’t want that.

[30:58] Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Because for me, it’s like, oh, you’re not gonna have kids, who’s gonna take care of you when you’re old? I don’t know. I hope I make a bunch of money so that I can pay someone to take care of me. It’s not, it’s not all about kids. And also another thing that I feel is that people romanticize the parent label.

[31:16] They don’t wanna really be parents. They don’t wanna parent their children, they don’t wanna deal with them, they don’t wanna deal with another human or like really be on top of raising that other human. And I know that I don’t want that. So that’s why I’m deciding to not have kids ever.

[31:30] Paulette: Yeah. You know your boundaries. Congratulations. You are a full grown human with boundaries. It’s so beautiful.

[31:37] Mafe: Yay me.

[31:38] Paulette: Well, I mean, let’s be honest, I say that being childfree is a boundary is about self-awareness. But the truth of the matter is it is. It’s true. Exactly, and it’s, I don’t see us as childfree versus parents. Like that’s how the world has set us up.

[31:53] Because the world wants us all to fail. Society is built on distracting people with bullshit dichotomies, like childfree versus parents when they are doing nefarious things, that takes away all of our rights. So let’s not be confused. We’re all in the same team. ’cause we’re all human beings, right? We’re all living on this one planet that we have.

[32:16] Mafe: It’s funny because I follow, she’s an influencer. She’s from Spain. And she has like three kids. Her life dream has always been being a mom. Mm-hmm. And she just wrote a book and then one of the chapters of the book, she’s like, do you wanna make more money? Have more kids? Like, no.

[32:31] Paulette: No, thank you.

[32:32] Mafe: Like, that’s what works for you. But like, no.

[32:36] Paulette: Have more kids in service of what?

[32:38] Mafe: I, I don’t know what the context is of the book or anything. That’s just what like I saw on her Instagram. And I was like, I’m not gonna go and judge her or be in the comments being a hater because that’s her prerogative. That’s what she wants to do. That’s the life she wants to live.

[32:53] Mm-hmm. But for me, like that doesn’t resonate. But I don’t go to the commenting type like a Karen. Just like scroll past it. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And laugh about it. It’s like, oh, people are crazy. And they probably think I’m crazy too. ’cause if I say like, I don’t want kids, I, she’s absolutely insane. Why doesn’t she need more kids?

[33:09] Who’s gonna take care of her when she’s old? Yeah. Because that’s the most common question that I get. What are you gonna do when you’re old?

[33:17] Paulette: You’re gonna have a farm with dogs.

[33:19] Mafe: Yeah, exactly. The dogs are gonna take care of me. My body’s gonna go back to the earth.

[33:24] Paulette: And I think we have to really challenge that concept. You as the product of a single parent household, have succeeded in ways beyond what you were probably even allowed to think you could. Right? Yeah. You’ve moved countries, you’ve become a citizen of a different country, thousands of miles away, and culturally completely different from where you grew up.

[33:46] Mafe: Oh, a hundred percent different. Yeah.

[33:48] Paulette: Was there a culture shock between Venezuela and Canada when you first moved?

[33:52] Mafe: Not necessarily, because for me, I had travel enough beforehand moving here. Mm-hmm. That I kind of knew what to expect. Especially coming from going to Australia and the States, like I had gone to the States like pretty often, so that I know kind of what to expect.

[34:09] But at the same time, the most shocking thing for me is that people here are very cold. As in they don’t hug a lot. Because when we say hi, we just like kiss each other, we hug, whatever. And that’s something that I have taught my friends here. Mm-hmm. I’m like, if you’re saying hi to me, just like we have to hug.

[34:31] Yeah.

[34:31] Paulette: We’re hugging culture.

[34:32] Mafe: Yeah, exactly. Exactly. So that’s one of the things that was a shock to me, but not because I didn’t know, but because I was so used to doing it. Mm-hmm. With everyone then, that I found myself like stopping myself a bunch of times. It’s like, no, people don’t do that here. But again, like it was a way of me to fit into this culture.

[34:50] But if I ask you, can I have a hug when I say hi? And you say no, like, I’m gonna respect that, but I’m gonna go in for the hug. Another thing is the food. The food was a shock to me because I come from a house where everything was like very healthy. We cook with like single ingredient foods. Like we didn’t have a lot of processed foods.

[35:12] Mm-hmm. And when I got here, like snacks are my, my weakness, I can’t. Yesterday actually, I went to the Dollar Store and I was like, I’m just gonna go get snacks. $30 later. I spent it a bunch of snacks and like a full bag. I just spent a lot of money on snacks because that’s what makes me happy. Not necessarily that I couldn’t find those snacks in Venezuela, but there are other things that I would go for instead of those snacks.

[35:34] Mm-hmm. You know? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So that, that was also a shock. Now I. When I moved here, I moved with my ex and we had been together for, I think it was eight years or seven years. Wow. And so it was a long time. I thought I was gonna marry the guy, and then we moved here and he’s like, well, this is not for me, so I’m gonna go back home.

[35:51] And I was like, okay, peace out. I don’t wanna go back home. So now dating here, it was another level of shock.

[35:59] Paulette: Mm mm-hmm. What you didn’t mention was the weather. You came from a tropical country, right?

[36:05] Mafe: Yeah. That was one of the reasons why I moved to Vancouver specifically. Because I remember when I was doing my paperwork and when we were choosing where to go.

[36:14] The person that was helping us with the paperwork, she was like, oh, why don’t you go to Canada? And I’m like, are you insane? Canada? Snow? Right. Minus 75 degrees? No, thank you. Are you out of your mind? And she’s like, well, Vancouver, it’s on the West coast. It’s like the Pacific Northwest. It rains a lot. And I’m like, rain, I can do. Snow? Mm-hmm.

[36:40] Yeah. Until I realized that there are months, like there are literally weeks where you don’t see the sun ’cause it’s raining all the time. But again, like we go back to that surviving. I was just so focused on surviving, on staying here, on taking that next step to like stay here.

[36:57] Then I was like, oh, the weather doesn’t matter. Now, I wanna get out of here in January, February. I cannot stand the weather. Mm-hmm. And it, and I cannot, it snows probably one week out of the year here in Vancouver. Mm-hmm. And I’m miserable. Absolutely miserable because this city doesn’t know how to deal with snow.

[37:12] Paulette: Oh. Oh yeah. That’s hard if you don’t have the infrastructure.

[37:16] Mafe: And I don’t like it. Snow belongs on the mountains, not in the city. And that’s what I love about Vancouver. It’s super green and it’s like mm-hmm, close to the ocean. It has mountains. I’d come from a place where that’s the norm, like it’s a valley, so you’re surrounded by mountains.

[37:32] Mm-hmm. But then you can get to the beach in 30 minutes. 30, 40 minutes, and then that’s it. I mean, it doesn’t rain as much like in Caracas, obviously, as it rains here. But yeah, I don’t think the weather affected me that much up until probably like two, three years ago.

[37:49] Paulette: Once you were ending your survival mode and entering your thriving mode?

[37:53] Mafe: Yeah, exactly. Where I was like, oh, I live here now. Oh, I hate this weather.

[37:58] Paulette: Oh wait, now I have to pay attention to this. So let me ask you a couple last questions about being childfree. There’s a lot more to Mafe’s childfree story, including familial bingos, dating men with kids, dating men with d and d podcasts.

[38:15] She takes her philosophy of love or clients seriously. But that part of the interview will be saved for the Super Cheveritas, los superfans over on Substack. Follow along there for the stories. With video. Maybe. This also led to a rant about spare kids for spare parts, which I’m gonna save for the next episode. So stay tuned.

[38:36] Mafe is there anything else you want the audience to know about you?

[38:42] Mafe: I can honestly write a book about like all my experiences. Putting it out into the universe, I’m gonna write a book.

[38:47] Paulette: Fabulous. Let me know when I can get my signed copy.

[38:50] Mafe: You’ll be the first one to get it. But yeah, about me. Let’s connect. Let’s hang out. I am at Mafe Salazar everywhere. I love to chat if it’s about podcasting, if it’s about dating. If you wanna know more about my crazy stories or about how I use dating as networking.

[39:09] Paulette: Dating as networking.

[39:11] Mafe: For love or clients.

[39:12] Paulette: Hey, Mafe again has such a great time with you.

[39:14] Mafe: And that’s a burrito.

[39:17] Paulette: Hey, mira, if this episode made you feel some kind of way, dígame! DM me on Instagram or send me a text. You can do that right from your phone. If you wanna be a guest on the show and put your story out there too, check out the guest form on my website at Paulette Erato.com/guest. Yep. Just my name, Paulette Erato.com/guest.

[39:43] Y no se te olvide que hay más perks when you join the newsletter. Todos estos links estan en los show notes. Muchísimas gracias for your support y hasta la próxima vez, cuídate bien.