#80 – Community: A Softer Approach to “Good Trouble”

[00:00] Buen día, mi gente, and welcome to La Vida Más Chévere The only Spanglish podcast for childfree Latinas y Latines, helping us liberate ourselves from the toxic cultural brainwashing we all grew up with, so that we can design our best lives instead. I’m your host and resident childfree Latina, Paulette Erato.

[00:24] Before we get into it, I apologize if my voice sounds a bit rough. The air quality here in LA right now is really bad, so I sound like this. Last episode, I encouraged you to create noise, to get loud. In contrast, here’s a softer approach to rebellion. One of the open secrets to designing your best life is creating a community where you feel supported.

[00:51] We’re all part of several groups, whether we recognize them or not. Some are intentional, like a professional development group, Toastmasters, a trade organization, your union. Others are circumstantial, like your work colleagues, or the neighborhood HOA. But a lot of them, we have to seek out ourselves. I developed the Latinas In Podcasting community because I didn’t have a space for that already.

[01:17] So I had to build what it was I was missing. And in fact, yesterday, we celebrated MLK Day together, sharing coffee over Zoom, so we could be distracted by what was going on in D. C. Like I mentioned last episode, I talked about the roadmap for rebellion, how joy is an act of rebellion, how using the power of your voice is a rebellion.

[01:40] But I get, that might be a bit much for some people right now. Maybe you’re not ready to play your instrument in the band. I understand. We live in a capitalistic patriarchal society and there can be consequences for going against the status quo. So here’s another option for all of us. Community is also a form of rebellion, especially under capitalism, which doesn’t want us to bond with each other.

[02:09] It wants us to compete against one another. Aye. I love this quote from Giselle Phelps that she put on Threads in response to what’s happening in L. A. Giselle is a former TV reporter turned publicist and thought leader, and this is what she wrote, quote, “The way we’re all expected to continue performing capitalism in the face of death and destruction should give everyone pause.

[02:33] It’s time to start questioning what you’ve been conditioned to accept as normal.” End quote. Sound familiar? As you know, helping you decondition from what you’ve always accepted as normal is my favorite activity and the entire purpose of this podcast. You see, it’s really difficult to design your vida más chévere if you haven’t yet opened your eyes and woken up to the many, many ways in which capitalism and the patriarchy have you shackled.

[03:00] And that’s what my community is here for, the community for this podcast. So thank you, as a listener, for being a crucial part of that. Community as Rebellion is also the name of a book by Dr. Lorgia García Peña, a professor of Latinx studies at Princeton. I’m recording this before I get my copy of her book, but let me read you the description.

[03:22] Quote, “Weaving personal narrative with political analysis, Community as Rebellion offers a meditation on creating liberatory spaces for students and faculty of color within academia. Much like other scholars of color, Lorgia García Peña has struggled against the colonizing, racializing, classist, and unequal structures that perpetuate systemic violence within universities.

[03:46] Through personal experiences and analytical reflections, the author invites readers, in particular Black, Indigenous, Latinx, and Asian women, to engage in liberatory practices of boycott. Abolition and radical community building to combat the academic world’s tokenizing and exploitive structures.” End quote.

[04:07] Dr. García Peña’s experiences within academia are an example of the way in which our society tends to hurt what it considers its weakest members. The incoming administration seems to have a real hard on for doing this and continuing this practice. John Lewis coined the phrase, Good Trouble. And since it’s the day after we celebrate the late, great Martin Luther King’s legacy, let’s talk about creating good trouble.

[04:36] I’m going to read you this article written by Paulette Beete, and I promise I did not know her name when I found this, which she wrote for the National Endowment for the Arts. Quote, “It is difficult to hear the phrase, good trouble, and not instantly think of the late civil rights leader and Georgia Congressman, John Lewis, for whom the phrase was a type of battle cry.

[04:56] In numerous interviews, Lewis recounted how he came to adopt the phrase as a way to talk about his Civil Rights work. He recalled how his mother often instructed him to stay out of the way, stay out of trouble, which was not an unusual stance for a mother trying to raise a young black boy in the American South during the mid 20th century.

[05:15] Meeting the Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. as a teenager, however, taught Lewis that sometimes the only way to bring change was by getting in trouble. As the Congressman told the Bates College graduating class of 2016, that introduction to King ‘inspired me to stand up, to speak up, and speak out. And I got in the way.

[05:35] I got in trouble. Good trouble. Necessary trouble.'” End quote. Necessary trouble. That’s what sticks with me. As a grown woman, a mouthy and childfree Latina, I am inconvenient to the patriarchy. I’m of no use to them because I refuse to procreate or shut up. I love that for me. And because I advocate for you to do the same, I’m not winning any brownie points with them.

[06:03] That’s fine. They’ve got plenty of pick me’s to choose from. I’m grown. I’m urging you to create good and necessary trouble, whether that’s by playing your voice or by embracing your community. Cool. So how do we do that?

[06:20] Let’s talk about what community can look like. In case you don’t know, I was born and raised in Los Angeles.

[06:26] Watching the destruction tear through LA in the last few weeks has paralyzed a lot of us, even if we weren’t directly affected. And it turns out that’s an absolutely normal feeling. The collective grief as we witness the devastation isn’t comfortable. But it is real. This communal anguish has only been made worse by the online armchair experts or the empty headed pundits spreading abject lies about what’s happening here on the ground.

[06:56] Not very community-minded of our fellow Americans. It’s part of the playbook, though. Othering us Californians strips us of humanity. And makes it easier to turn us into objects of ridicule. If victims are reduced to simply a statistic, or dismissed as deserving of their plight, it’s easier to either ignore them, or worse, scapegoat them for larger problems.

[07:21] The fires have been said by the stupidest among us to be caused by wokeness, or D. E. I. As opposed to the glaringly obvious truth we all know, climate change. But hey, now that the Supreme Court said we can sue oil companies for that, it should be okay! How often have we seen the same framework at play in reporting the atrocities in Gaza or Ukraine?

[07:49] In the wake of the floating island of garbage comments last fall, millions of Puerto Ricans banded together to reject this characterization. And suddenly, the internet was flooded with support from all corners of the world. It’s kind of like what’s going on in Los Angeles right now. A very smart man once told us that Mexico doesn’t send their best.

[08:12] No. Mexican firemen volunteered their elite skills instead. So, a huge shout out to Mexico and Canada and all our neighboring states and beyond who see through the bullshit that’s being reported and have offered support instead. That’s humanity, that’s courage. That’s how a community is supposed to operate.

[08:36] This support should have been coming from our own people, our own fellow Americans. All of our news stories should be urging people to help this critical part of what is supposed to be the United States. Instead of telling us it’s our fault, they could be helping this economy they all depend on. But they decided to bite the hand that feeds them instead.

[09:00] Alrighty then. A community of helpers is what I want to be a part of. You remember that Mr. Rogers quote, don’t you? He said his mom would tell him, “Look for the helpers. You’ll always find people who are helping.” That’s community. And it’s times like this, not just these natural disasters, but living under this administration, when community becomes of the utmost importance.

[09:28] Being able to lean on your neighbors, your friends, anyone during this time is going to be invaluable. For people who don’t have a support network like that, it’s going to make an unfathomably difficult time that much harder. If you’re one of the LA residents who have been displaced or need support, please check out the show notes for a list of available resources that will be continuously updated.

[09:55] The disaster in LA has shown us what the power of community looks like, how locals have mobilized to provide aid where the government couldn’t yet or won’t. From local restaurants and Chef José Andrés serving the fire crews and the displaced citizens to the donation centers overwhelmed by volunteers, to the wave of support from the crews sent from Canada, from Mexico and beyond, we’ve got this taking care of our fellow humans mentality here, and it’s amazing.

[10:26] For those of us carrying that grief, sometimes the best way to deal with it is through action. One of the best things you can do to calm your nerves is direct that energy into doing something. Donating money, goods, or even your time is an excellent use of that energy. And mutual aid organizations can always use assistance.

[10:51] And please keep that in mind, as my friend Sylvia said, once the news crews are gone next month, and there’s no longer a daily story, people will still need help. But what about our immediate communities? You don’t have to have undergone a disaster in order to get to know your neighbors. Do you know their names?

[11:12] Now is a good as time as any to connect with them. Because at the end of the day, all we have is each other. What are other ways to create community in this modern and often isolating world? I mentioned that I built, am building, Latinas In Podcasting because of what I perceived as a hole I need it filled.

[11:34] But creating and nurturing a community takes time, effort, and lots of patience. Bonds aren’t formed overnight, so you can’t expect a community to simply spring up where it’s planted. It has to be tended to, like any garden, like anything worth growing. So, if you start now, imagine where you can be in six months.

[11:59] Because, trust me bro, in six months, we’re still gonna need that support. We all will. Pour into the communities you have currently. But what if you’re more of a joiner than a leader? Hey, that’s okay too. Sometimes we need models of behavior before we can see ourselves in those roles. Another reason this podcast exists, to provide you with these very examples.

[12:27] So look around and ask yourself, what can I join? What do I want more of in my life? What do I have the space for? It might look like a running club, a book club, a group of people with tools, building a Habitat for Humanity house, or even an online childfree space where you can vent about the bingos you hear and learn sassy retorts to all of them.

[12:50] If you’re thinking, but Paulette, my interests are very niche, I’d say bet. Let me tell you a story of an imaginary friend we’ll call Valentina. Valentina wanted to find an underwater basket weaving group that met on the 14th Sunday of the year and hosted bake sales for orphaned otters. Valentina very clearly has very niche interests and that’s great.

[13:14] She’s a unique and complicated human just like the rest of us. But she also doesn’t seek to be all things to all people, and she eventually recognized that all potential communities may not offer her 100 percent of what she needs in every way. This is why you need and should seek out multiple, maybe even overlapping, communities.

[13:38] Valentina discovered that was the case for her, so what did she do? She found her underwater weaving group, they had their own thing, and then she found a separate orphaned otter group that did its own thing. And she became the common link between the two. The one who could bridge them together for anyone else looking to expand either their weaving or ottering skills.

[14:00] And then on the 14th Sunday of the year, the orphaned otters were able to rely on the underwater basket weavers to assist in a donation drive. Magically, she helped improve two distinct communities that are both dear to her. By doing what? Simply joining. Showing up. Isn’t that amazing? I realize this is a ridiculous example, but I think you get it.

[14:26] You hold multitudes within you, but you can explore separate pieces of yourself one at a time and bring them together in a new way for you, while also creating, or joining, or becoming part of a larger support system. That’s just one way to create community, to be in community. As adults, it becomes harder to make friends because we’re not thrust into shared circumstances the same way we were in kindergarten, or in college, or even during natural disasters, very often.

[14:59] We usually have to create that on our own and that can be scary. But I’d be more concerned with loneliness right now than the fear of putting yourself out there. And I realize that it doesn’t come easy. Over the last six months, Ryan and I have become part of a pickleball community. We have friends we play pickup games with outside of our weekly lessons.

[15:19] They might be listening to this episode. How did that happen? We just had to show up and see if we liked it. Turns out we did, and we’ve even gotten better at this fun little sport because we were really, really bad at it. Like REALLY bad.

[15:37] And being a beginner in adulthood is also very hard. I’ll do a whole episode in the future. Stay tuned. Part of what holds us back from putting ourselves out there is fear of rejection. And oof, that is a hard one. But I urge you that now more than ever, this is important.

[15:55] What I would caution you to do is avoid becoming bonded by something you hate, like all the naysayers who are so ardently anti-California. That kind of hate eats at your soul. Be united by something positive as opposed to coming together against your own best interests. It doesn’t behoove anyone to hate California, for example, especially if you eat any of the food, drink any of the wine, or use any of the technology created here.

[16:24] The looming issue is that our now current administration has a real disdain for all the attributes that make communities powerful. Why would they try to segregate us and roll back so many of our rights if they weren’t threatened by them? I’ve seen several people express the sentiment that it’s almost a good thing these wildfires happened before January 20th.

[16:48] Because we don’t know if we would have gotten any federal assistance after that. Yeah, with the people at the federal level heckling our local mayor and governor, the days of relying on the federal government might be in the rearview. Despite the fact that California just became the fourth largest economy in the entire world!

[17:08] We just bested Germany. Yay. These fires are a good thing for the people who hate California, because anything that keeps us struggling is a win for them. That’s weird, right? This us versus them mentality? We’re all part of the same country. Another person on Threads, Bian Li, a TEDx speaker, who goes by the name, the AuDHD Futurist wrote quote

[17:31] “This is why they want to keep everyone dumb, poor, struggling, fearful, and fighting with each other to stay in survival mode. When people are too exhausted and consumed with keeping their heads above water, they’re too distracted to notice their pockets being picked clean. Because if people evolve, such as inner growth, healing, critical thinking, compassion, questioning, it will chip away at authority’s manipulation and shatter their power.” End quote.

[17:58] That sounds incredibly difficult to do all alone, which is why we need community. Now, community does require some give and take. Hopefully, you’re able to give more than you take, but times will come when you will need to lean harder and require more support than other times, than other people.

[18:21] And this shouldn’t be a source of shame, the way capitalism wants you to believe it is. You don’t always have to pull yourself up by your own bootstraps. Other people can help buoy you up. Back in episode 11, I talked about a cheer squad, which is a very special subset of community. I have an entire signature talk around this subject, and if you want to hear it, you can hire me to give it as a presentation to your organization.

[18:47] The gist is that when you’re running a marathon, like this cleanup and rebuilding of L. A. is going to be a marathon, you want your supporters, a. k. a. your cheer squad, strategically positioned at the mile markers where you’re going to be at your lowest point in terms of energy, enthusiasm, or both. They can provide you comfort in terms of a new bottle of water.

[19:12] Some snacks, and even psychological comfort to believe you can keep going. That last part is one of the most important and the least appreciated. Mis amigues, we have to take care of ourselves and each other. And forming community bonds is the kind of small rebellion or good trouble that John Lewis talked about.

[19:37] And it can all be done quietly, underground, with a soft voice.

[19:44] So let’s recap. As wildfires rage across Los Angeles, the devastation is undeniable. Families have been displaced, resources are stretched really thin, and the end is not really in sight. And yet, in the middle of the smoke and the ash, something extraordinary is happening.

[20:06] Communities across the city are stepping up. Organizing mutual aid and doing what they can to fill the gaps for those affected. This isn’t just about wildfires, though. It’s a broader truth. Our systems weren’t built to protect us. With this administration that seems really determined to undercut local and state governments they disagree with, while also stripping away all of our hard earned rights, you know we can’t rely on them now either.

[20:36] John Lewis taught us to get in good, necessary trouble. But when you’ve been conditioned to accept survival mode as the default, always striving, always hustling, even as the world burns around us, literally or figuratively, it’s hard to see how or why you should care. Survival mode keeps us too exhausted to fight back or even notice the systems that exploit us.

[21:00] But here’s the thing, when we pause, when we reflect, when we connect with others, we find strength. And that strength threatens the very structures trying to keep us down. The mutual aid that’s pouring into L. A. right now is just one gleaming example of community. A shining, rebellious spirit that will not be broken, not by fire, not by devastation, but it uplifts instead of tearing down.

[21:29] Causing good trouble doesn’t necessarily mean putting yourself in harm’s way or even breaking laws like John Lewis had to. It can look like organizing some of those mutual aid efforts in your own neighborhood. Educating yourself and others around you about your rights. Amplifying grassroots campaigns on social media.

[21:49] Supporting local leaders who advocate for equity and justice. You know how I feel about voting at the local level. That was the crux of episodes 74 and 76. I’ll leave you with this last quote from another threader that goes by Taking Off The Tinfoil Hat. They wrote, quote,

[22:07] “They taught women not to gossip, because knowledge is power. They taught women to be polite, because confidence is power. They taught women to compete, because community is power. They taught women to be constantly helpful, because time is power.”

[22:24] End quote. The rules of the white Christian patriarchy have kept us scared, struggling, and exploited for far too long. We’re done with that.

[22:34] We are stronger in community. When we rebel together, when we share knowledge and build each other up, we create the kind of good trouble that changes the world and supports us from the inside out. Community is a form of liberation, a form of rebellion, as Dr. García Peña notes in her book. So let’s take the lessons she’s learned navigating academia and apply them to our own social connections.

[23:00] Pause and reflect. What have you been conditioned to accept as normal? What will you unlearn to create space for community and connection? Finally, and most importantly, please build relationships. Find your people. Strengthen your community. Together, we can continue John Lewis’s legacy. You don’t always have to be hard, mija.

[23:27] You get to be soft, too. And that’s a burrito.

[23:34] Hey, mira, if this episode made you feel some kind of way, dígame. DM me on Instagram, or send me a text. You can do that right from your phone. If you want to be a guest on the show and put your story out there too, check out the guest form on my website at pauletterato. com slash guest. Yep, just my name, pauletterato. com slash guest.[23:58] Y no se te olvide que hay más perks when you join the newsletter. Todos estos links están en los show notes. Muchísimas gracias for your support, y hasta la próxima vez, cuídate bien.