61 – Non-Mom May: Celebrating Otherhood by Building Community

[00:00] Paulette: Buen día, mi gente, and welcome to La Vida Más Chévere de Childfree Latinas, the only Spanglish podcast for childfree Latinas y Latines who are designing their best lives by actively letting go of the toxic cultural brainwashing we all grew up with. I’m your host and the childfree Latina, Paulette Erato.

[00:22] Hey, so if you’re watching this on YouTube, there’s not going to be much of a video because these solo episodes are much, much easier to record without it. And that’s just how it’s going to be for now, but I appreciate you subscribing on YouTube if that’s where you get your podcasts. Today, we’re continuing on the theme from the last episode about being a black sheep and reveling in the way that we’re living outside that life script, whether or not it was a choice.

[00:49] I’ll explain more in a second. Tell me if you’ve seen that meme with Justin Timberlake, or has someone on Tumblr called him Jimber Timber–Jimber Timber. Anyway, the meme is a clip of him from the NSYNC video for It’s Gotta Be Me, but the me has been changed to May. You know that one. I fucking hate it. I don’t even know why, but it’s probably because I’ve always thought he was the slimiest one of the group, especially after what happened with Janet Jackson at Super Bowl 38 in 2004.

[01:20] We all know what I’m talking about. I always had an inkling that he was terrible, which made me sad because he’s one of the few men who actually let their hair be curly. And that’s something I want to celebrate, you know? But it turns out I was right about him. So all those memes with him leading up to the month of May are now fucking gross.

[01:38] Can we stop with them already, please? Because May is awesome and we should not sully it by intermingling its awesomeness with Jimber Timber’s grossness. I’ve got a better idea instead. You know how May has a certain mom-centric holiday that can make people feel a certain way? And I’m not just talking about how childfree people feel about it.

[02:02] I’m gonna guess that it’s even worse for childless people. The ones who actually wanted to be parents, but for whatever reason, simply can’t be. And I’ve had a few guests on the show who struggled with infertility, so I’ll leave you links in the show notes for them if you want to go listen to that. But there’s also people who had kids and unfortunately lost them.

[02:22] That can make the holiday full of grief instead of joy. Or what about when you’re the kid and the relationship with your mother figure or your mom is hard, or she’s gone too? A lot of people fit into these rather broad categories, probably more than you even realize. But you know what else happens in May?

[02:43] My birthday! Do you know when my birthday is? It’s on Mexican Mother’s Day because life is ironic. Alanis is tried to tell us. Unlike here in the U. S., Mexico and Guatemala and Salvador and Belize, they celebrate El Día de la Madre, Mother’s Day, on a fixed day, May 10th. And that’s my birthday, every year.

[03:07] Because you know I love to celebrate all the wins, and making it another trip around the sun, mostly unscathed, is definitely a win, this May? It’s all about celebrating the non-moms in our lives. I introduced this concept last year in my newsletter, and I said that I wanted to make it an annual thing. And I was not kidding. I’m still having another birthday regardless of how long my husband insists I’m only 29.

[03:35] So let’s at least make it a party. What I’m trying to do is make space for all the people who have those heavy feelings around Mother’s Day. That doesn’t mean you can’t also celebrate what’s going to happen on that second Sunday in May. I mean, I have a mom too, and she’s pretty rad. She’s been on the show.

[03:54] You’ve heard her support for non-moms. If you haven’t, I’ll leave you a link to that in the show notes too. But we’re all about to get bombarded with emails that have deals for the quote unquote most important woman in your life, stuff like that. But if you’ve been listening to this show for any length of time, then you know who the most important person in your life is.

[04:13] It’s you! So, let’s turn May into a celebration of that, too! Allow me to introduce you to Non-Mom May. So what is Non-Mom May? Non-Mom May. Say that three times fast. Non-Mom May. Non-Mom May. Non-Mom May. Non-Mom May is a month dedicated to amplifying the stories of amazing people, women and non binary people alike, who are living a life without kids, whether by choice or by circumstance.

[04:46] Let’s face it, the whole reason this podcast exists is because society all too often paints a one size fits all picture of womanhood, with motherhood as the ultimate goal. But like my guest and podcast bestie, Theresa, who hosts Latinas from the Block to the Boardroom, she said on my show, we’re The Otherhood.

[05:10] So let’s celebrate our otherhood. My last guest, Shweta, called it being a black sheep. Black sheep, otherhood, let’s celebrate it all. Because for many of us, that very narrow worldview of women as mothers, it simply ain’t it. That’s not going to resonate with us. The rest of us have dreams and passions and goals that extend way beyond just the traditional family unit.

[05:38] And Non Mom May is here to celebrate that. It’s a month to drown out the noise of the societal norms and yell a loud ass, hell yes, to the fulfilling and vibrant lives that we’ve built. This is a celebration dedicated to acknowledging and uplifting the amazing people who have chosen not to have children, as well as those who are still on the fence, or those who haven’t been able to conceive, or those who are experiencing loss.

[06:09] All of you are worthy of celebrating, all month long. The goal of Non-Mom May is not about excluding moms, it’s about creating a space where those who don’t have children can feel seen, can feel heard, and can feel celebrated. My goal with Non-Mom May is twofold. One is to honor the diverse experiences of childfree and childless people.

[06:33] And two is to foster a sense of community and support among us. So how are we doing Non-Mom May? That’s the fun part. Participating in Non-Mom May is ridiculously easy, especially if you already follow me on Instagram or are subscribed to the LVMC newsletter. And if you aren’t, the links for these are always in the show notes.

[06:55] Throughout May, I’m going to be using my Instagram for daily prompts and features all tied to the hashtag #NonMomMay. So there’s three ways to play along. The first is the daily prompts on Instagram. Every day I’ll be posting what I hope is a thought provoking prompt on my Instagram page, that’s designed to spark conversation, encourage interaction and engagement, share experiences, and celebrate what makes us unique within our community.

[07:25] These prompts can be anything from sharing your favorite childhood memory to giving a shout out to all the non-childfree friends you have who supported you on your journey. And we’ll use the hashtag #NonMomMay to find each other. There’s also going to be non-mom spotlights. Aside from the daily prompts each day, I’m also going to have a profile that features a non-mom on my Instagram so you can meet more inspiring non-moms.

[07:54] These profiles will showcase the people making waves in their field, pursuing their passion, and basically living life to the fullest, all without kids. It’s our flock of badass role models within the community. All of us being black sheep, and that can include you too. Whether you’re a non-mom entrepreneur, an artist, an activist, or simply somebody who has a story to tell, I want to hear from you.

[08:22] There’s a form you can fill out to be featured that’s linked in the show notes. Hurry though, because there’s only a handful of dates left to choose from. But wait, and there’s more! Not to sound like a sleazy salesman, but I couldn’t help it. Some awesome non-mom owned businesses will also be offering discounts and promotions throughout the month.

[08:42] So you can support your fellow non-moms while treating yourself. It’s a win win. Even if you don’t want to be in the spotlight this time around, you can still participate. You just have to follow me on Instagram at Paulette Erato. It’s my name, at Paulette Erato, and then keep an eye out for the daily posts with the hashtag #NonMomMay.

[09:01] In fact, you can actually follow hashtags now, right? Yes. So play along with the hashtag, add it to your own posts when you’re responding to the prompts, and hopefully you’ll connect with other black sheep just like you. And as another bonus, wow, I’m just full of them, huh? If you’re on the newsletter, you’ll be receiving that week’s prompts every Sunday, starting with this Sunday, April 28th?

[09:28] Yeah, that sounds right. April 28th. In fact, in the post for this episode, I’ll have the full 30 days worth of prompts for the readers. Yes, I know that there are 31 days in May. I’m actually going to take Sunday the 12th off from social media for my own wellbeing. So there won’t be a post that day, but there will be a newsletter with the prompts, so don’t worry about missing that.

[09:53] And if you want to receive the prompts ahead of time, jump on the newsletter. It’s free. And you’ll even get a little gift for joining. Isn’t that neat? It’s my birthday, but you get the gifts. And that’s Non-Mom May, a celebration and a space for the rest of us. And it’s your month to shine.

[10:10] All right. To recap, Non-Mom May is about more than just avoiding an awkward Mother’s Day conversation, although that’s definitely a perk. And it’s not about ignoring mothers. Here’s what we’re doing in May. We’re celebrating the diverse experiences of childfree and childless people and fostering a sense of community.

[10:31] By the end of the month, here’s what I’d love for you to have taken away from this experience of Non-Mom May. First is a celebration of diversity. Non-Mom May is a reminder that there are lots of paths to fulfillment and happiness, and not all of them involve motherhood. By celebrating these diverse experiences of the otherhood, I’m challenging societal norms and promoting greater acceptance and understanding, like I do with every episode of La Vida Más Chévere.

[11:05] I’m also hoping to build a community. Whether you’re happily childfree or you’re struggling with infertility or still undecided about parenthood, Non-Mom May is a chance to connect with other people who share the same experiences and challenges. Building a supportive community, as you heard in the last episode, as you hear me say all the time on La Vida Más Chévere, is essential for navigating the ups and the downs of life without kids.

[11:31] And I hope that Non-Mom May will serve as a catalyst for creating lasting connections and friendships. And finally, it’s about empowering voices. Non-Mom May is a platform for childfree and childless individuals to share their ideas, share their passions, and share their achievements with the world. By amplifying their voices and promoting their businesses and their projects, I’m hoping to empower and inspire others in the community so you can pursue your dreams and live your vida más chévere.

[12:03] It’s all about empowerment, inspiration, validation, connection, and community. Here’s to Non-Mom May, a time to celebrate, connect, and uplift the incredible non-moms who make our world a brighter place. So I hope you’ll join me as we honor your stories, embrace your choices, and build a community where you and everyone else feels seen, valued, and celebrated, dammit!

[12:30] It’s gonna be just like an episode of La Vida Más Chévere on steroids, because it’s coming at you every day, all month long. Sign up for the newsletter so you can get started this Sunday. The link is in the show notes. And that’s a burrito.

[12:48] Hey, mira, if this episode made you feel some kind of way, dígame! DM me on Instagram.

[12:54] If you want to be a guest and put your story out there too, check out the guest form on my website at pauletterato dot com slash guest. Yep, just my name, pauletterato dot com slash guest. Y no se te olvide que hay más perks when you join the newsletter. Todos estos links están en los show notes. Muchísimas gracias for your support y hasta la próxima vez.

[13:20] Cuídate bien.